Smells and clothes again… some more
After a pleasant week off, SS13 came back over yesterday. As usual, the unbearable stench hit us when he got in the car. (He always comes over from BM's absolutely reeking of pet-related smells. It's not BO.) DH had to open the sunroof and roll down windows until we got home. When we arrived home, DH told him to go up and shower and to bring his clothes down to the washer. He got the bag of sports uniforms and dumped them straight in there as well.
I go on prepping lunch. Eventually, SS comes down -- wearing the same tracksuit he was wearing before.
DH: What's this? I told you to bring your clothes down to wash. Why did you put them back on?
SS (in a clear "you're a moron" tone): I just put it on this morning.
DH: Does it smell like cat?
sS sniffs it, then stomps off upstairs. I swear, the kid has no common sense. DH has explained the smell issue to him -- DH is highly allergic to cats, so the odor alone is enough to get to him.
Later, DH took him to buy some new clothes on the way to baseball practice. He's growing like a weed and we thought it might be a good idea to get him some new, bigger pieces heading into summer. Apparently, SS had a major attitude and lagged behind, rolled his eyes, kept saying "I have stuff that fits", in the "you're a moron" tone. DH gave up and told me he'll go get him stuff later this week and just go alone. So, SS won't have a say in what he ends up with.
Evety time he comes from his mom's, he has new clothes, new shoes (when he hasn't outgrown the previous ones).
He practically drips with disdain over here. Some of that is being a teen. But some of it is him, I'm certain. And he's well aware of the differences between houses. BM has no expectations and buys whatever he wants. Opposite over here.
We're in the path of totality for the eclipse, and schools are out. His school sent a message to parents that kids were given eclipse glasses last week at school. DH bought a couple for us. He mentioned glasses to SS and he replied in an incredibly snotty tone that, no, the school didn't give them glasses. When DH tried to talk about it and how big a deal it is, SS contradicted everything. DH said there won't be another here for 21 years.
SS: (scoffs) No. 400 years.
Me: Pretty sure it's 2045.
SS (you're an idiot): No.
Me: So I guess you know better than NASA, then?
That finally shut him up. That and him looking it up and seeing that, yeah, he was wrong.
I know teens are pains, but I seriously cannot stand this kid.
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SS is in cat smell so much he doesnt
Realize he smells. I am sure SS. highlight of coming to your home is to take a shower and change clothes. Teenagers know everything. They don't want trick questions. Like did you get glasses. Just part of life. BM must be dysfunctional if the kid smells that bad. He must have tons of friends at school. [ lol ]. At 13 boys are finding out about girls. How do you get a GF if you smell that bad. His social life must be zero.
Oh, yes. I know how teens are
Oh, yes. I know how teens are. And I'm sure it annoys him to have to shower as soon as he gets to our house, but there's no way around that. DH's eyes are watering and his nose is stuffed before we even get home (10 minutes).
No clue what the deal is at BM's. She has cleaning people in twice a week -- but even that's probably not enough to combat four dogs and two cats.
I feel bad because he goes to school every other week reeking through no fault of his own. Haven't heard anything, but I would think it impacts his social life.
IF he wanted to, I am sure he
IF he wanted to, I am sure he could learn how to wash his own clothes, including his bed linens AND he could keep the pets out of his room. Your SS is old enough to take the initiative to smell better. I wonder why he doesn't care enough.
Possibly. But smells can
Possibly. But smells can really permeate and if the whole house is that way...
DH has stood at the door before and nearly got knocked over by the stench.
Regardless, SS isn't the type to ever problem solve or show initiative.
Start the immediate ridcule
Start the immediate ridicule of his stench any time he gets in the car, walks in your home, etc... As for the (you're and idiot tone) when he drops it, bare his ass. Not just with facts, but with in his face, "knock your snarky shit off" confrontation.
Order Tyvek coveralls for him to put on before he is allowed in the car. Yes, over the top I know. But.... no need for you or DH to suffer or for your cars and home to reek. Below is an option. $2.20 each. Cheap for a break to your noses. It also humiliates the nasty spawn and sends a message.
Magid Econowear Lite N Kool Polypropylene Coveralls With Attached Hood, 25/Case | Magid Glove
https://www.magidglove.com/magidr-econowearr-lite-n-koolr-polypropylene-...
Lather, rince, repeat.
I've gotten to where I call
I've gotten to where I call him out on it when I witness it. Of course, he hardly ever speaks to me at this point.
I do wonder if his awful
I do wonder if his awful attitude could be some sort of armor he developed as a result of being isolated socially (because of the smell)? The thing about kids is that the majority of them, even if they aren't trying to be unkind, are going to gravitate away from a kid who is markedly different. Smells especially are difficult for kids to ignore. Maybe he's an asshole because that way he can truthfully tell himself that he doesn't want friends anyway, as if it was his choice.
My heart always hurts for 'smelly kids' because when they're younger, they're really powerless to do anything about it. And at 13, your SS could probably shower more proactively and learn to his laundry, but if the entire house smells that bad, it's likely a losing battle.
My sister and her husband are both smokers, and their defense is "we don't do it in the house or the cars" and yet my niece and nephew always reek of stale cigarette smoke. I can't tell you how heartbreaking it is to me to have to send them straight to the shower when they come to stay with me, but my daughter has asthma and we just cannot deal with the smell. I actually buy clothes that I keep here for them because once something goes into their house, the smell is not coming out no matter how many times I wash them.
I don't understand why he smells of cat pee.
I don't understand why he smells of cat pee. I have 3 indoor cats and have had as many as 5, and I know I never, not once, smelled like cat pee. My house does not smell either. And I am not the best housekeeper! Do the cats not use their litterboxes? And even if they don't, how does it get on his clothes? Unless he leaves them on the floor and the cats relieve themselves on the clothes and then he puts them on? Which is a disgusting thought. This whole situation is just so odd. I can't understand how he is not bullied at schoool.
I don't understand it either.
I don't understand it either. I'm a dog person with little cat experience but the people I've known who owned cats didn't stink and neither did their houses.
And, yeah, stinky kids were usually picked on -- if at lwastt to had no friends.