New member to this great website!
I too have been reading posts and find them very helpful. It's so nice to know that other people have the same issues with skids.
I was an orphan an grew up in foster homes. I am now 35 years old, dating a wonderful gentleman for a few years. He has a 12 year old daughter and 8 year old son.
We have the skids every other weekend and two nights during the week.
The eight year old is fine with me but SD12 used to be nice to me but now it's seems we lost the connection.
There have been some issues - SD12 didn't like me asking the kids to be polite, and not chew with their mouth open, make their bed, give the kids a time out when they hit one another. These are all basic things they should've been taught by the parents, but never were, so I have to teach them. BF supports me every step of the way, but doesn't think to take the time to teach them things. So now I'm the bad guy.
Not sure if BM says bad stuff about me, but wouldn't put it past her.
It's particularly difficult for me to deal with me not being accepted because that is what I dealt with my whole life - once a foster child always a foster child I guess!
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Welcome, happywmh
All I can say is...Ahhh teenage girls! Don't ya just love 'em?
Ok, so SD12 isn't "officially" a teenager, but she's getting to that point where the hormones are raging and all her issues will be coming to the surface.
And guess who will become the lovely, convenient target for all her teenage angst and confusion and all that is wrong in her life???
That's right...YOU! Lucky, lucky you.
So welcome to the fold, my sister. I hope you have thick skin and a good sense of humor, becuase you are going to need it!
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
You sound so sweet!
I am sure there is no real reason for the skids to dislike you, but they probably will anyway! Don't let them get to you honey. Glad you tuned in, hope you get some good ideas from all of us - and vice versa:)!!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
Thats why Dr Phil says if
Thats why Dr Phil says if you aren't the parent & the kids are not babies, the step-parent can't be the primary disciplinarian! They will resent you & blame you while their real parent looks like the good guy. Even if they are your rules, you have to make your H be the primary enforcer! Especially with a 12 yr old girl...hitting teenage years...don't envy you! Good luck!
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
Welcome Hun
I'm in the same position. It takes time. All the things you said about (making the bed etc...) were all things that the skids have only started doing when I came in the picture.
BF loved the new rules but didn't enforce them as much as what I did. I just said to BF I'm sick of always being the bad guy and if you don't care that you kids are lazy slobs than neither do I. Soon enough he was the one pushing the rules and making sure what skids are supposed to do is done.
It's hard but it's all in the hands of your BF.
Vent away hun, we are all here to help and listen (read).
Thank you for the warm greetings!
I do appreciate the good suggestions as well. I will start making BF to the communicating of rules. He doesn't have a problem with doing that, I will just have to tell him.
You folks already made me feel comfortable. Thank you - this will be a good place to go to feel supported.
Take care!