You are here

Pity party for one..right this way

Halo_Horns's picture

Submitted by Halo_Horns on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 12:25pm

Thanksgiving is about family right? Especially to a first year marriage..or so I thought.
Just a little back ground. I have been married to dh since Dec of last year. Has been a rocky start to my first marriage. But still excited for the marriage "firsts".
Found out sister is moving to another country, dh is buying my dads car, I have not been on any kind of a vacation since 2008 (nope, not even a honeymoon..). So I was really looking forward to me, dh and bs going to homestate, getting to say goodbye to sis, picking up car and having our first married thanksgiving with all of my family. ALL dh had to do was call his po and ask if he could leave town for two days. He never did, then I heard him telling sshits about thanksgiving and how he is hoping they tell their bm that they want to spend thanksgiving with him.
So today I made airline reservations for just me and ds for a long thanksgiving weekend. No husband, no sshits. But I am ass hurt that it seems like dh had NO intention of ever calling po for permission and that he had plans all along to stay home so he can be with his boys.
Just REALLY tired of being put last.

Comments

Halo_Horns's picture

Submitted by Halo_Horns on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 12:36pm

probation officer. thank you for asking but not on this site for dh's legal problems. hope you respect.

DeeDeeTX's picture

Submitted by DeeDeeTX on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 12:41pm

I had no idea what PO meant since it wasn't a typical abbreviation I have seen.

Ad the reason I asked is because maybe (depending on what he did) he figured the request would be denied, so he wasn't going to ask. Asking for an exception to the rules is probably a bit different depending on what you did. It's a possibility, anyway.

Halo_Horns's picture

Submitted by Halo_Horns on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 12:46pm

The part that hurts is that he didn't even bother to ask. He just simply "forgot to call". Guess I should find the silver lining here and just be glad that I get a weekend with my family and no sshits. I will just feel wierd having to see my family and keep having to explain why my Husband isn't there. Sad

DeeDeeTX's picture

Submitted by DeeDeeTX on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 12:51pm

Well maybe you should forget to cook his dinner, forget to buy his favorite foods, and forget to have sex then too?

}:)

Or is he the only one allowed to forget in your relationship?

Halo_Horns's picture

Submitted by Halo_Horns on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 12:55pm

That is my plan! We leave on the first flight out thanksgiving morning so how he feeds is kids and what he does with them is all on him. And I can see me being exhausted from having to pack the night before, so I think that will cover the "no sex"! }:)

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 3:51pm

Maybe he didn't want to po the PO. Wink

You aren't coming "last" because he has kids. You're stuck where you are because he's a convict... which I'm gonna presume you knew WHEN you married him less than a year ago.

napamom's picture

Submitted by napamom on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 5:19pm

That really sucks but I'm so glad you went ahead and are going with your DS. My DH pulled something similar our first Thanksgiving together but through counseling he has gotten so much better! Hang in there and have a great holiday with your family!

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 6:12pm

Honey, my DH has 'forgotten' about 3 times in the 8 years we have been married. And NOTHING on the scale of not making a call to someone for permission to leave the state.

He forgot because visiting your family is not a priority for him. Not as important as his kids. Not as important as getting your dad's car. It just isn't THAT important to him.

There are 2 ways you can look at this... either you know where you stand and know how much freedom you have to visit your family as you wish without taking his snots along with you or you will mourn his lack of marriage we-ness and note that he would rather spend TG with his sons than with you and his other son.

Or maybe he is clinging to a past illusion that doesn't and has never existed.

If I were in your situation I would consider this a trial separation. And see how often he blows up the phone calling you WHEN he has his kids with him. I get the idea you may be regrouping and considering your options.