NSR...but work related - Employers..can't live with em..can't live without em

My employer has decided to do an "all hands" meeting for two freaking days. Oh joy...that in and of self sends my anxiety into overdrive. It means I have to interact....WITH PEOPLE. Have I mentioned I'm a introvert and there is a reason I do the job I have....LITTLE INTERACTION WITH PEOPLE. I am NOT a people person.

Not only that....our building is across the pond (retention pond that is) from a freaking hotel. Do we use that hotel for this shindig...nope..they decide to use a hotel DOWN FREAKING TOWN. During the week...where we have to travel rush hour.

WHYY....WHY....now I they want me to navigate rush hour traffic ( I live 2 miles from our office in the a suburban city), find parking...pay for parking...all for the privilege of interacting with people..that I don't want to interact with.

Even better we had to take a personality test (oh eff me now)...and we get to discuss that in a break out sesson. WHY FOR LOVE OF ALL THE PEOPLE THINK IS HOLY.......mine will come up INTROVERT......and guess what we introverts HATE HATE HATE talking about ourselves with strangers for hours. Heck we hate talking to strangers period for hours.

Then they scheduled an "optional" dinner on the first night and a company event at a soccer game the second night. Nope..not going to either of those. You got me for 8 hours and THAT IS IT. No dinner and lord no to the soccer game. I don't like sports that much and certainly not enough to go with people I don't really know.

I mean is this shiznit really necessary....it really doesn't build team work...(I've worked with the same people for 8 years trust me we all know each other our quirks and strengths). I can say I dread this more than my annual girl exam.

So..tomorrow morning I will be ubering to this blessed event and leaving at 4 p.m on the dot to come home.

Gonna be a long two days.

But seriously can someone explain why on earth this is needed and why does it have to be two freaking days. Seems like a lot of b*llsh*t just designed to make the executives feel like they are "connecting" to us peons.

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You have my sympathy!

You have my sympathy! I am also an introvert and find it more difficult doing stuff like this with people I know and will see again than if I had to do it with complete strangers. And the driving and parking downtown would stress me out as well. If the hotel has valet parking, I would use it so you don't have to worry about finding a parking space.

I think the higher ups do this kind of thing so they can check off some box somewhere that they have met some goal. It is ridiculous.

It's a shame you will be sick

It's a shame you will be sick those days.

Just act like you are sooooo

Just act like you are sooooo looking forward to it.. then just be under the weather.. didn't test positive for COVID.. but hey...better safe than sorry.. so dissappointed to miss the fun. I would hate to get the whole company sick!

My company is still using

My company is still using covid as an excuse to not do this stuff thankfully. They really enjoyed all the savings from limited travel and entertainment expenses over the last couple years and I don't see us doing another F2F until at least next year if ever again.

I do wish they would pay for me to go to a conference though.

Oh yes, this is a management

Oh yes, this is a management task....HR likely wants to see it done too - oh, all you people working alone from home, not commuting, but still interacting professionally and getting the job done, right? Why force interactions as a team if there's no problem with the team? Especially socializing - OFF THE CLOCK for work? No. I'd ask if your travel/parking will be reimbursed since it's an off-site location and not part of your usual home to work travel, esp. if it's required.

I don't like these things much either, I do them as I see fit. But if it's not required I be there in person (my commute is 1.5 hours at best) I won't. We have a day long event coming up in September which would be fun, but I'll have to drive which is not fun and adds to my day exponentially. So I don't know if I'm going yet.

We just got our Return To The

We just got our Return To The Office date. I was an introvert before the pandemic. Now, I'm darn near a rabid hermit. Just the thought of being in the office makes me want to crawl under a rock with a sippy cup of wine and my stuffed elephant...

The BRAS. Think of having to

The BRAS. Think of having to wear a bra ALL FRICKEN DAY again. I've gone feral in retirement, and keep one on the key rack for when I go out.

Evil Aniki has a dozen tank

Evil Aniki has a dozen tank tops with shelf bras and is seriously considering them my go-to attire. Or nip-its...

I hated this stuff

I had to coordinate and attend this type of event and I hated it, like any good introvert should. Lol. I'm guessing that your executives think it's more necessary than ever with so many working from home. I always resented any company event that fell on my off time. I didnt care how glamorous, prestigious, "important" it was, I always thought, " You need to pay me extra for this". Yes, I knew I was salaried but I resented any incursion into my own time since I made damn sure I got my work done during work hours. My motto was: Make sure all the work gets done right, make sure all the work gets done right and on time, and make sure all the work gets done right, on time and we are still on good terms. We didn't need that other stuff to do this

Probably a part of the "team

Probably a part of the "team building" bullsh@t a lot of companies are trying to do right now to rally morale. It's kind of like the "pizza parties" to show they value you. You know rather than compensate us monetarily or give us raises.

"Pizza parties"

The new HR director at our company wanted to show employees how the company felt about them (cue violins). Formerly, we had occasionally done this by having something nice catered in, having a pleasant luncheon-type event, in small team groups at different times. So, he invited all to a pizza party in a large common space. They slapped down some pizza boxes. The positive note is that he achieved his objective. The employees knew how the company felt about them.

We get potlucks for morale

We get potlucks for morale building, or they offer "team appreciation" where they give you 59 minutes at lunch and you have to purchase your food, if you don't show up you don't get to use those 59 minutes to leave early.

Another work pizza horror story

In the early 80s, the Neanderthal era of computers, I was manager of the loan accounting area at our niche mortgage company. We keyed the installments then a batch was sent to the home city computer. Most loans had annual payments due January, it made for a heavy seasonal workload. On December 31, it was critical that every transaction be keyed and transmitted so that the 1099 tax forms went out accurately.

Everyone when hired was aware that on New Years Eve, we had to work as long as it took. Each year was a nightmare with the younger ones looking wistfully at the clock. One year was particularly bad and the VP, a gregarious talker who wasted untold hours with his personal stories, called me in to solve the morale problem, "Order some pizza!" I cant remember if I said it or just thought it but I thought, "They dont want pizza! They just want to get out of here!"

Later years got better as technology and planning improved. Sometimes, I think the executives felt pizza had some kind of magic power.

I'm NOT an introvert and I

I'm NOT an introvert and I still hate these kinds of things. "Retreats." "Team building." Blech. And I even like the people I work with.

But if I'm away from ACTUAL work for two days, what do you think happens to that work? And most team-building exercises are stupid and don't really translate to real work. (Let's see if your team can build a car from a juice can, a popsicle stick, a paper napkin, a hairbrush and three acorns.)

My BD's DH just had a similar experience, needing to attend an in-person event. He and other colleagues picked up COVID, so he was home sick for another week.