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habsle's picture

Submitted by habsle on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 7:18pm

How can I be the only one who sees the manipulation going on!?! We have a parent-teacher conference and DH doesn't want me to go. Why? Because he's the one here every night to make sure that SS's homework is done, papers are signed exc. HE double hockey sticks he's not here so I need to go so someone will be telling the truth. SS didn't complete a homework assignment. DH got a phone call from the teacher and said something to ME about it! It's not my homework. Things are crazy and I don't know how to play the manipulation game and I don't know what to do anymore! Sorry for the confusing post just trying to get it out before I scream and cry again. Sad I feel like I am failing at this whole parenting thing. DH thinks it's not that hard. But he's only with him 3 hours a day...and on the "fun weekends" because he thinks that there should be lesser rules on weekends.

Comments

reluctantgma's picture

Submitted by reluctantgma on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 8:29pm

Please stop doing this to yourself, Amy. Let your DH waltz in and play Super Dad for the parent teacher conference. Also make arrangements to disengage or get out so he can EARN the title with his 9yo son.

Wake up, girl. You're being played like a fiddle. DH and MIL blow you off and act like it's so easy and you're failing so you'll work harder at doing the parenting job that they can't be bothered doing. Then they step in for all the easy, fun or high profile stuff. You get the 100% responsibility, 0% authority role. Is that how you want to live the next 9 or more years with DH and SS9? Your DH has no respect for you and that's what SS9 models his actions and behaviors from.

Doubletakex3's picture

Submitted by Doubletakex3 on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 8:07am

Let DH go to the parent teacher conference and be accountable to the teacher at least in that moment. This isn't about you...it's about DH abdicating his responsibility. Make him step up...it's what's best for SS and DH and, of course, you. You are putting yourself in a lose-lose situation. Been there. Done that. And it sucks. Walk away from that responsibility...it's never was yours.

You clearly have a huge heart and it's being taken advantage of. Hugs.