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Gunner's Blog

I woke up to fighting

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I took my wife to dinner last night with some friends. We had a great time and we got home around midnight. We sat outside and had a few drinks and got into bed around 2. At 7 am her daughter's were screaming and fighting with each other. My wife got up to handle it 3 different times before they were sent to their rooms. By then I couldn't go back to sleep so I got up and made some coffee, cooked breakfast and watched some tv. Ysd is being a total pain in the a$$ today and annoying everyone. She keep a getting in my face and saying Happy Fathers Day slowly.

I need to clarify

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I didn't want to post this on my other blog because it was heated and I'm sure I would have been called more names. As of now, but it will change next month, I give my ex wife child support, an extra $1000 a month and I pay for private school and any expensive extra activities outside of normal after school stuff. For example, she pays for tutoring with extra money I give her but I would pay for a week at sleep away camp. Next month I will pay an extra $500 instead of the $1000 and I will pay for tutoring along with sleep away camp.

I wasn't ignoring you on my last post

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I read the advice offered and I needed to consider what my wife is going through and what concessions I need to make. So I chewed on what to do for a while and I talked to my brother. What is boils down to is, she wants me to stop all extra money to my ex wife and sell the house or charge my ex market rent. If I do this my kids will not have the same standard of living they do now.

She went to counseling

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I went to my counseling appointment Thursday and my wife was waiting for me in the office. The first part of our meeting was our counselor explaining to my wife how this works and getting her back ground information. The second half was our counselor asking my wife to explain what is going on from her view. She told the counselor that she is tired of feeling overwhelmed when my kids are there. She told the counselor they aren't bad kids it just upsets the dynamic of our home. She complained that her kids don't like mine and that they shouldn't be unhappy in their home.

I went to dinner with a plan

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I turned to my brother and his wife for advise and they helped me decide what I needed to do. I got quite an earful from my sister in law on how women play games and she told me what to expect from my wife. She wasn't wrong. I would go to dinner and only wait for 10 minutes for her to show before leaving. If she showed, I would tell her I love and value her and want her in my life but I am not willing to pay for her bills or for her children. My kids will spend summer break with me those are non negotiable. If she wants me for me than she can have me.

She gave me an ultimatum

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As expected I came home to an empty house. There was a note on the table telling me she had taken her girls and gone to her sisters and if I want her back I need to do xyz. XYZ includes paying her bills, paying for private school for her kids, seeing my kids outside our home for summer except for every other weekend in which she will leave the house and a list of other things she is unhappy about concerning my kids. I called her and asked her to dinner in voicemail for tonight. I would love for her to come home and things go back the way they were before but I can not do that.

Don't want to go home.

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Tomorrow I end my vacation, pack my kids up and head home in to uncertainty. I hate that this is what my marriage has become. Before I left I sat my wife down and talked to her. Based on advice I got from my other board and here I once again asked for half our vacation fund and was told no. So I let her know that starting in June she would be responsible for her and her children's bills. I will still pay the household bills and we can split groceries.

Going on vacation without my wife

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It was my weekend to have my kids and Thursday night my wife was being a real witch. I could do nothing right and she was in a mood. I asked what I could do to make her night better but nothing worked. She was fine which I know doesn't mean fine. When I got home with my kids Friday, the house was empty. She took her girls and left for the weekend. No warning no nothing. She told me when I texted her and asked where she was. They followed the normal Monday routine and she acted like everything was normal. I asked her if she was going to go on vacation with us next week and she said, us? no.

No thank yous for Mothers Day

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From the kids not the wife. My stepdaughters didn't thank me when I took them shopping to get their mom a gift and flowers but said thank you for lunch. I reminded them to use their manners and they said this isn't for us its for mom. I didn't say anything else. My kids say thank you when I take them shopping for their mom and for my wife. Should I broach the subject with my wife or will she think I am being nit picky?

Off topic but update to dog teeth

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I got a better look at the drown rats teeth this weekend and decided to take him in when the vet opened this morning. We were in and out surprisingly fast and rat is set for teeth cleaning/removal surgery the beginning of July or sooner if there is a cancellation. Rat dog needed an updated rabies shot so he got the 3 yr one. On the way out I paid a total of $18. They didn't charge me an office visit just for the shot. I questioned the quote she gave me which is between $150 to $250 total. She said it includes pre-op blood work, cleaning, tooth removals, antibiotics and pain meds.

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