Have to have the talking to with the SS tonight about his inappropriate behavior
My mom just passed away and I am a mess. Before you send me too much sympathy let me say we didn't have much of a relationship. She threw me out at 15 and so the relationship died a lot longer before the body that was walking around did. But I'm still upset--finally grieving that I didn't have a mom. And no I was not a bad kid, I got good grades and had a job at 15. My mom wanted to marry a 24 year old and she was 42 and she didn't want me around anymore. She threw out my 18 year old sister and drove my foster brother back to the boys home.
She shipped me off to Dad's, which didn't last long so I ended up with my sister. Dad was an alcoholic that my step mother killed in a drunken rage when I was 28--so it was no fun being there. Had it not been for my sister's husband I would have been on the street. Long ugly story.
Anyway I need to straighten out SS and I just don't care. He needs the straightening out from his behavior, but goodness I don't have the energy. I'll do it but it just reminds me of what a shit he is. If only I would have had loving parents, gosh a step mom that gave a damn--I don't know what that's like.
Please send me good thoughts and energy to help me do what needs to be done. Damn it all I want is the kid to say hello when he walks in and not drink until he is 21. Why is that so much to ask for?
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Try not to take on that
Try not to take on that burden. It sounds like you need to take care of YOU for a while. You have obviously been through a lot in life. And now dealing with the death of a mom, that never really was...
Where is DH in all of this? Can you ask him to have a talk with SS about his behavior? Are you seeking any kind of counseling to deal with the things that have happened in your past?
I will keep you in my prayers. I really will. Try to disengage while you give yourself a little time to heal, from EVERYTHING.
Years of therapy--one of the
Years of therapy--one of the nice things that comes from a murder you get victims services and free assistance. Therapy for free at work too so I'm covered and I go chat when I need to, but I'm pretty versed.
FDH is here and will chat with the SS but the problem is he is inappropriate to me at my house and so I want to do it. I want to start correcting him because when FDH does it--it hasn't worked the problems continue.
I also want a certain comfort level doing it. I don't want to wait too long after the incident so tonight is when he is scheduled to be here. He walks my dog--I pay him and my dog thinks he is the moon and the stars. It's nice because it gives SS and I something to talk about. Yes I could walk my own dog, but I'm training for a 1/2 marathon and my dog is old and he can't run with me anymore so the dog walking gig was a win win.
I'm tough I'll do it and keep it low key. I should have done it the day of, but Mom had just been removed from life support and I was afraid I'd be too hard on him so I just left and sat and talked to friends.
I am glad to hear you are
I am glad to hear you are able to speak to someone about all of this.
I understand where you are coming from. He does need to be corrected and directed to respect you. He sounds like a pretty good kid from what you have said here. Don't kick yourself for not calling him out right now. You deserve a break. Keep your chin up.
Well that was easier than I
Well that was easier than I thought I fell asleep...just exhausted from it all and FDH corrected and told him he owes me an apology.
Thankfully Mom isn't having a service so I don't have that to deal with. And work has a good time off policy so I'm going to just take the time to get better.
Thank you ladies for the support--for whatever reason it just helps to type it in this screen--seems to make it all better.
For whatever reason I am dying for Chinese food and starving now after the long sleep. Grief is so odd. Thanks again.
Hi Goodwitch - my mother
Hi Goodwitch - my mother passed away 18mths ago - I had always had a terrible relationship with her, and I found it took longer to deal with her death and I was much more upset, than when my dad died 12 years ago, (with whom I had a better relationship). I have heard this before, that it is easier grieving a good relationship than a bad. Incidentally one of my teenage SDs - the vile one - did not even say to me "sorry for your loss" when my mum died. Wretched little beast.
Good luck with tackling your SS.
I know it is weird to be so
I know it is weird to be so upset about someone I rarely saw or talked to that much. But you're right I think this is going to take sometime. I'm not up for the Skid drama right now so I'm not inviting and I probably will let dad go to every thing alone. Just don't have it in me for one more thing.