It's all about boundaries. If they have kids together, they will always have a relationship. But it should be a business type relationship. If he can't do that, you should run while you still can.

I've had a similar experience. My partners ex wife tried everything to stay a key part of my partners life, way overstepping a parental relationship. She had done some pretty monstrous things and I spent 5 years trying to keep her at arms length and trying to encourage my partner to do the same thing, but to mo avail. I finally got to the stage where I stopped caring, stopped reacting and even thought... Bollocks, if she wants him that badly she can bloody well have him. As soon as she stopped getting the reaction she backed off.

Does your partner/ husband want to have a 'close' relationship with her too?

I agree with the above 100%. DH needs to set boundaries NOW otherwise it will be a behavior pattern that will be tough to break in the future. There is nothing of her life that DH needs to know his only concern is with SD. Amen!

H's ex-gf (kiddo's mom) pulled this for awhile. Your H/bf/SO has to be the one to disengage. It was awful... not on a normal or healthy scale - 30 calls a week or more, hanging up, talking about her sex life, her emotional issues, a miscarriage, relationship problems, screaming at H and I, crying on the phone at least three times a week, emotional blackmail, screaming at H about what went wrong in their relationship four years ago...it was awful. H tried flat out telling her he didnt care about her personal life, tried telling her he was happily engaged, tried everything. Nothing worked. What eventually did work (and it took a few months for her to stop) was him totally ignoring anything she said that didnt have to do with kiddo. I mean, disengaging in the conversation, walking away, ignoring the statements as if they had never been made, whatever the situation called for. Our home has been much more peaceful since.

Surprised that she is remarried and still so attached to your significant other. A very wise counselor once told me that you must look at these type of things from a different perspective. Its a perspective of what is her motive for being so attached to your SO? Is he giving her signals to be so attached? Call him out on the carpet. Us women are so quick to blame the other woman,instead of asking our SO what he is attracting to himself!!

ditto on livinthedream's comment! WTH?!?!?!?! Call him out, tell him he is responsible. Don't blame - claim it or move on.