Personally. My advice would be its not your problem/place/concern to discipline his poor grades. That is the job of his parents and if they dont care it's certainly not for you to pick up their slack. As a SP you walk a fine line of what is and isn't your place. This isn't (unless you are a custodial SP)
Not your kid, not your problem.

Personally I always look at the bright side of this - when failure occurs I dot have to deal with that either. I can wipe my hands of it having nothing to do with it (especially where I used to try and was rewarded with nothing but conflict. Fine. Whatever)

^^^^^THIS^^^^^

For me it would depend on why child is receiving poor grades. I don't know when he started back for the year, but a lot of what the first few weeks consist of is things kids already learned. IT quick refresher before moving on. Our school sent home math packets when school got out in May. The point was to keep the skills kids had learned so when school started in August teacher wouldn't have to waste 2-3 weeks.

Anyway...is your BF's son failing because he isn't doing his homework? Isn't studying for test? Doesn't understand current place in subject? The reason for the failing would count towards what I as a parent would do about it. I'd find it in kid's better overall interest to make mandatory homework/study time each evening (even if no assignment kid can practice what he's been learning and class is working on) then to snag an ipod if issue was poor homework skills or problems absorbing the lessons.

If kid was having trouble understanding the work, I'd assist in explaining the work and do examples of the work without doing the actual say math problem on his homework sheet. I might inquire about afterschool tutoring the school offers. That type of thing. On the otherhand, if kid is just blowing off doing his homework, half doing it, and not paying attention to teacher in class then my approach would be different. I'd think no xbox until I saw an improvement in gradebook. Perhaps limit afterschool activities. Something along that line.

But if you have a kid who has a parent who does not care or want to bother with seeing that his kid is successful in school, well, if II were you I'd find something else to worry myself over. If parent doesn't give a hoot, kid doesn't give a hoot, why spend your time giving a hoot? It just sets you up for frustration and potential fights. No need putting yourself out as evil GF if dad himself doesn't worry about it.

Ahh.... I am going through the SAME THING.
Except my FDH's son is 11 and in the 5th grade. Failed K.
I have spent the last three weeks fighting to get this boy to do his homework, tried punishing but FDH refuses to hold up on a grounding. He never keeps his word. The rewards system doesn't work because he never achieves the reward.
So at this point, I'm stepping back and letting it work it's own self out. Not my kid. If he ASKS me for help, I'll give it to him. But if I ask him if he has homework and he says no, I'll let him not get it done. I've already talked with him numerous times about how he's heading down the road to fail the fifth grade. Doesn't matter.
Choose your battles. Mine are the cleanliness of my house at this point.

Meh. Personally, I stay out of the school issues. It's all on their dad to deal with. If they ask me for help with homework, or to sign their reading logs because FDH isn't home or something, sure. I do not nag them to get homework done or pull up their grades. I have a deal with them - they get money at the end of the school year for their As. It's up to them and dad to make sure they get them. Not my problem.

" The boy is so messy unorganized and it literally drives me crazy. The boys BM is a pig herself. Never did she teach that boy anything when he was livin with her. I talked to my boyfriend about taking everything out his room and storing it in the shed he says yes. Does that sound like the right thing to do?"

I missed this tail end as I focused on the grade bit. I assume as you state 'when he was living with her(BM)', that the child now lives with his father? If kid is living with Dad, it's just as much Dad's fault kid is a messy pig and it's Dad's 'job' to teach the kid. Why put all the blame on the BM.

Do I think you should snag everything out of his room and store it? No. Do I think you should be cleaning it up? No. But it appears bedroom mess didn't/doesn't bother child's father. Kid should have household chores and kid should be expected to follow the rules, but it's on Dad to see kid follows rules and does chores. It's also on Dad to decide if and what consequence for not following through should be. You don't need too be cleaning kid's bedroom. The child can clean it or the father can clean it if he doesn't wish to have the son do it.

But what finally caught my attention after reading again was the three things put all together 1)poor grades 2) disorganized 3) messy. When put all together these could be a possible indication of ADHD. Has BF thought about this being part of the issue? Has the child been to a dr recently and Dad discuss these topics with dr? If kid is having trouble paying attention in school, concentrating on homework and issues with keeping his things and time organized there may be an underlying cause that hasn't been identified and/or considered. No, ADHD won't be a free pass to continue what's going on, but if kid has it, it's identified and treated and child is worked with to overcome and control it might be something for Dad to look into.

I agree with tvp-Dad needs to take his son to a doctor. He may have some undiagnosed issue(s).