SD5's hair for cancer patients...
So... DH told me that BM was talking to him about cutting SD5's pony tail (butt length) to donate it for cancer patients... WTF??? She said that SD5 said she wants to do it but honestly I think that 5 year olds are not capable of taking decisions like that.
She is a Girly girl, she LOVES her hair long, and I'm sure saying that "she wants to do it" and actually "doing it" is different... when she sees her shoulder length hair... oh gosh...
My thought is that is kinda stupid, If she wanted to help with charity she could give away some of the MANY toys SD5 has that she doesn't pay attention to. Or visit cancer patients, SD5 doesn't even KNOW what cancer patients are and she didn't even know there were kids that had nothing til' a few weeks ago, because I was explaining to her how she should be lucky because she has so much family that cares about her and she also has a lot of material things that many kids around the world have never had. I was planning on giving away many of her toys and clothes to kids, and she got kinda excited, but i haven't done that (procrastination?)...
My point is that, SD5 is NOT exposed to charity a whole lot, and I know she doesn't understand many concepts, I think doing other things should be a better start off, also, SD5 is not mature at all, I have met kids at that age that are mature, but SD5 isn't...
What are your thoughts on that... Isn't that a decision an older kid should make?
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Gia - on the subject of SD hair!
I've seen it both ways to be honest. My sister lost her hair due to illness and her son decided to cut and donate his very beautiful, curly blonde hair not long after that and he was a very young boy. You may want to ask SD5 where she saw that, got the idea, and make sure it is her idea. Also, if she does indicate it is from own idea, then maybe you would want her to look into "locks of love" that help children her age deal with a disease called alopecia where they lose their hair. Donated ponytails are made into wigs for children that can't afford them and need them just for daily living. You may think that BM is behind this and maybe she is, but what does BM have to gain from it? That her SD is a giving something of herself and that makes her proud? It doesn't make sense for BM to be behind this, unless she hates daughter's hair that long. And yes, SD may truly love her hair long, but having her get it cut and then dealing with the aftermath will not be the worst thing that happens to her if she hates it. It could be a good lesson for her that beauty comes from WITHIN and not always from without. With God's grace and love, she will never have to experience what those other people are going through. And it's up to us (in my own opinon) to not perpetuate that she won't be just as pretty whether she has hair down to her butt, or up to her shoulders, or anywhere in between....
Your sister's son
had already been exposed to that, so he had a better understanding...
My whole thing is that shouldn't be the first step, taking her to see sick kids or something should be the first, so she can feel familiar with that. Is like telling her, SD5 do you want me to send you to another country by yourself you are gonna have so much fun!?, she would probably say yes... do you think if we send her to another country she won't start crying right away because she doesn't have her mommy or daddy... hmmmm....
I'm just basing my thoughts on the knowledge i have of what she thinks of life, and she is extremely naive...
~You can see clearly only with your heart. What is truly important is invisible to the eyes~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's
Gia, ok...
So you think that BioMom said, hey honey, there are people with cancer, so why don't we get your hair cut and donate it? Is that what you are concerned about? That BM is pushing the idea on SD? The other side of that coin, that I didn't mention in my last post is that I also lost hair at one time due to illness - before I met SD. And SD, who is extremely close to me, took the other route. Instead of understanding my pain, she made comments of how weird it was for me, and how strange I must have looked. There was no empathy at all, and sometimes even cruelty! Now SD has really really beautiful hair. She would never consider donating it and even the thought of cutting her hair scared her. Because her hair is so pretty and so many people tell her that, she had a fixation on it, and I still fear that if something ever did happen to her, she'd be even more devastated by the loss of what she clearly is getting her only piece of self esteem from. I have had to live through that and it is extremely difficult. To live with someone who can't see past their own vanity to empathize with someone else was even more devastating. Again, I think this could be a good experience for your SD. I think if your SD is open to it, you may want to discuss it with her and then let her do it. What's the worst thing that can happen? She cuts her hair, donates it to a worthy cause and then hates it short? And so what... she has to learn to style it and play with it and learn to like it again? Why are you worried about her cutting it? It's not a bad thing for girls to learn that their hair is an accessory - not the be all end all of their being. There is more for this girl to learn from this experience than you will ever know. Trust me.
I say let her do it! Hair
I say let her do it! Hair grows back, and she might surprise you.
I think it's great idea honestly
My mom had breast cancer when I was little, and I remember her not having hair. I was so sad that she lost all of her beautiful hair that I even offered to share some of my hair with her... and that's what I did.
Like you explained to SD5 about how there are kids out there that don't have nice things that she has, you should explain to her that there are people out there who don't have hair because they are really sick. Maybe even take her to the cancer floor and meet some of the kids there. She might even offer to share some of her hair!
I think this will be a great experience for her.
I don't think a 5 year old
I don't think a 5 year old should be making that kind of decision...I think that she should do something else to demonstrate her care for a charity...Sometimes children don't realize the impact of the actions until after it has happened!
omg...this strikes home with me....
I always wanted to cut SD11's hair, but I wasn't allowed to because BM was waiting to donate her hair to charity as well....so for YEARS...when the other skids would get haircuts SD would cry and cry, but I wasn't allowed to get hers cut....u know what?????? Finally BM takes some of her illegally obtained welfare $$$ and gets SD's hair cut.....so SD was happy blah, blah, blah....so I say maybe a week later or so, so SD, did yur Mom send in yur hair for charity????.....and u know what???...she's like oh no she kept forgetting, I think she threw it out....I'm like WTF????.....this is why I just have no tolerance for these BMs and "what they want"...sorry...cuz every single time I have respected her wishes...she dropped the ball and let the kids down....GRRRRRRRR..
"there are three sides to every story....your side, my side and the truth :)"
I think that
SD should be exposed to what cancer really is and what it does to people...I'm not saying you should scare the daylights out of her but she REALLY needs to understand as much as a 5yr old can understand what cancer does to you. THEN, after she understands the basic concept...ask her if she wants to donate her hair. Maybe even get one of those "makeover software" systems to show her what she'll look like after her hair is cut off just to see her reaction. I don't think BM should push her latest trendy idea on SD5 but exposing her to new things wouldn't be such a terrible idea.
"We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.”