Need some advice on how to handle this situation
So if any of you have been following my bolgs you will know that BM has decided that even though the EICs were awarded to DH in the CO, that since he can't claim them because he makes to much money that she is just going to claim them because that's just how it works.
Apparently the IRS doesn't agree. BM and DH have shared custody which means that both parents have the kids 50% of the time throughout the year. In order to qualify for the EIC you need to have the kids for over 50% of the time throughout the year. The only reason why DH even gets the EIC is because it was awarded to him in the CO.
My question is how do we handle the situation? BM will be coming to DH soon requesting that he sign the EIC credits over for the past three years and this year. DH intends to tell her no which means that we are in for a sh!t storm of drama from her the likes of which we have never seen. (25k worth of drama) and she knows no limits. Punishments for not just giving her what she wants range from messing with the kids to calling CPS and filing false child abuse allegations against DH (which she has done).
DH has always chose the path of least resistance in his dealings with her but I think that's why we are still at this place with her. She thinks that bullying, threatening, lying, and manipulating works. And it has in the past because DH doesn't want to deal with her. My issue is that she won't stop. This is not the first time she has tried to get DH to defraud the government and unless things are handled differently she will continue to so these things to us for the next 12 years until SS turns 18.
She wants this money because she had a new baby and now needs a bigger home so instead of working for what she wants or renting a bigger house until she can afford to put a down payment down on a bigger house that she is just going to go to my DH for the money instead of addressing her financial issues with her husband who happens to be the father of the new baby.
If she does this even after DH says no to her she is guilty of contempt. Four counts if she files for the this year and the last three years. I just want her to stop and focus on her life with her family instead of constantly causing drama in our family. (I really don't know how her current husband puts up with it). DH and I don't care. We wouldn't care if she died in a car accident on her way to go shopping. She could get abducted and never seen again and DH and I wouldn't lift a finger to find her. We don't want her in our lives. We don't want her pulling this kind of crap anymore where we end up being involved in schemes to get money. We want her to leave us alone unless it's kid related and I hate to break it to her but the fact that she had another baby and can't afford a bigger house is not our business.
So how do we handle this? Do we finally put our foot down and draw the line with her file contempt charges and let everything fall where it may? Or do we just sign 25k over to her to aviod the fights and drama that she will bring to the table when she doesn't get her way?
What I would love for DH to say to her when she tells him that she can just claim the EIC regardless of whether or not he signs it over to her (which is a lie and she knows it) is that he'll just claim both of the kids this year for taxes then. According to the IRS the dependents credits go to the parent with the higher income which would be DH so they would let him do it. The only reason why BM gets to claim the kids as dependents is because she was awarded it in the CO. She would have an absolute fit claiming contempt and all sorts of stuff but essentially it's just using the same mind set that she is using in regards to the DH's EICs.(Not saying that we would do this but it would be funny to see her freak out about it.)
I just want her to leave us alone unless it's kid (DH's Kids and not her and her husnabd's kid) related and deal with her own personal drama with her husband and quit trying to drag us into situations where there's constant drama between households. The question is, how do we get her to this point? What do we have to do to get her to stop and how do we handle the current situation? Should we file contempt charges when she tries to pull her crap yet again and just let the chips fall where they may?
Any advice would be great.
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Comments
okay, just a quick
okay, just a quick question...if your DH can't claim it anyway why is this such a big deal to let BM claim it...?
yeah, i hate all this tax
yeah, i hate all this tax stuff anyways...its always so confusing...lol
Here is a list of why DH and
Here is a list of why DH and I refuse to work with her on anyting:
She stalked DH for the first year of our relationship e.g. sitting outside out home at 3 am, showing up at our home while we were at work, came into our home without our knowledge or approval.
She locked my car doors while the keys were in the car. It cost me $80 to get my car unlocked.
She stalked my BD when she was 5.
Called CPS on DH and filed false child abuse allegations on him.
Badmouths DH to the kids all of the time.
Called the police on their 5 year last December while on school property because he decided that he didn't want to go to school and threw a trantrum.
Threatens DH everytime she doesn't get her way.
Tried to take Christmas from DH last year because he wouldn't just hand it over to her.
Wouldn't allow DH to take the kids to see their dying great grandfather before he passed away one last time to say goodbye.
And this are just a few of the things that she has done. There is more. Much much more.
gotcha...i didn't know your
gotcha...i didn't know your story!..well, then BM can go choke on that tax form...
Oh and not to mention that BM
Oh and not to mention that BM refuses to give DH one of the kids to claim on his taxes this year and going back three previous years and wants DH's EICs now because she's just a greedy selfish person. That's what it comes down to. Everybody must bend to the will of BM and if you don't watch out. By the time she's done with you you might have lost your kids and have some sort of child abuse charge on your record all because you said no. She would ruin you. Your entire life and not even bat an eye and claim that you deserved it and she was in the right.
We wouldn't claim the kids.
We wouldn't claim the kids. I would just like to see her reaction when DH treats her the way that she treats him. She would flip out. And we follow the CO. We are the only ones who follow the CO.
And the IRS does allow this type of a thing. They don't like it but they will allow it.
And if we never actually do anything she will never stop. She won't stop her behavior until she gets slapped for it by someone who she can't bully, threaten, or intemidate.
Yep, just say it's in the
Yep, just say it's in the agreement, ordered by the court and there is nothing that can be done. Then ignore her. And document, document, document
In DH and BM divorce papers
In DH and BM divorce papers it says DH can claim 1 child on his tax returns because of child support. BM knows this and the first year after the divorce she claimed all 3. The IRS audited DH. DH reminded her of what the court said and the following year she did it again. DH was on the ball by this time and did not claim any until he knew what BM claimed. Now he just doesn’t bother. BM will always claim all 3 no matter what because she is a greedy, vindictive bitch.
Oh trust me! I would LOVE to
Oh trust me! I would LOVE to see DH take her to court on this and so many other things! And he wants to as well, but we just do not have the funds to pay for an attorney or court fees.
And that's what I think.
And that's what I think. This isn't the first time that she would be in contempt of the custody order. But this would be the first time that DH would be doing some thing about it. If he does nothing, like always, these types of situations will continue to pop up for the next 12 years until SS turns 18.
My husband's divorce decree
My husband's divorce decree stated that he could claim SD because his share of CS was more (BM had full custody), but BM had to sign form 8332 every year.
When she didn't sign and she claimed SD, we got a letter from the IRS. Took her ass to court for contempt and the judge told her to sign it right then or go to jail. He, he.
i would file immediately upon
i would file immediately upon receipt of your final paycheck of the year. i'd get bank statements showing all interest earned, dec 31st paystubs and forgo any odds-n-ends credits you might get (like mortgage interest) unless it's easily and quickly accessible.
then if she tries to claim them, it'll flag her return and they will investigate. enter copy of CO.
ETA: but ck w/ a tax professional first!
This issue is that DH can't
This issue is that DH can't claim the EICs. He makes to much money so it doesn't matter whethe or not we file right away and the IRS will audit her. They will not just hand over 20k in back taxes, because she has to ammend three years worth, and an additional 5k for this year. She knows this. That's why she needs DH on board to sign them over. She did have him convinced that she could do this and by providing her with a letter it would stop DH from getting audited as well when she files for back taxes. I calmly explained to DH that what she said was BS and she was lying and manipulating him into just signing it over to her. She doesn't want the IRS to see the CO nor does she have proof that she has had the kids for over 50% of the year so the only legal way she can claim it is by having DH sign them over to her which isn't going to happen.
ah. my bad!
ah. my bad!
Not to mention that in order
Not to mention that in order to even be able to claim the EIC she has to state that she has had them over 50% of the year when she files this year and for back taxes over the past three years. It becomes tax fraud at this point because she knows that she only had the kids for 50% of the year and has not proof to state other wise. The CO also states that she only gets the kids 50% of the time and it states that DH gets the EIC. The only way she can do this without running the risk of getting caught for fraud as well as contempt charges in regards to the CO is DH writing that letter stating he is signing them over to her and she knows it.
The question is what extent is she willing to go to to threaten, bully, manipulate, and lie in order to get DH to do what she wants? 25K is a lot of money which, using my deductive logic, should eqaul 25k worth of drama and punishments.
^^that's what i was just
^^that's what i was just thinking.
tell her no, then file for a temp RO. i wouldnt want to put up with a 25k headache until 4/15...
Can we get an RO on her? I
Can we get an RO on her? I know that we have four years worth of her harrassing behavior documented via email (she has admitted up to everything)but can we use that to prevent her from attacking DH because that's exactly what's going to happen when he says no?
i dont even think a physical
i dont even think a physical attack is necessary if you can show proof of a history of harrassment. GameOn, it might be worth running the idea past an attorney
What really pisses me off
What really pisses me off about BM claiming all 3 is that 2 years ago she used her tax return to get breast implants but then complains about never having enough money. She should have used her tax return on the kids not herself. I’m planning on augmentation surgery too but I’ve been saving little bits at a time over several years.
I wouldn't care what the
I wouldn't care what the circumstances were...DH and I would NEVER hand over ANY signed form to BM that would allow her to get one red cent more than DH has to pay the bitch in CS! N.E.V.E.R. Fuck her lazy, greedy, selfish ass!
Your DH needs to put his foot
Your DH needs to put his foot down once and for all and then do what he needs to do to protect himself from being harassed by this bitch.
My SD's BM backed off quite a bit when she realized my husband was willing to stand up to her, legally and otherwise. She never thought in a million years that he would take her to court for contempt, that's why she claimed SD even though she wasn't supposed to.
Put a stop to this now.
I agree. It will get worse at
I agree. It will get worse at first but I think that this is what needs to happen. I refuse to live my life under the control of another person and the possible consequences of not following their orders.
I just can't wait for SS to
I just can't wait for SS to turn 18. On that very day I would like to block BM from calling either of our phones or emailing either of us. I know she'll still try. She has a hard time understanding what divorce means that the fact that when she sh!t on people repeatedly they don't like you and want nothing to do with you.
BM has only ever had our land
BM has only ever had our land line number and my husband told her, once CS is done there would be no need to talk to her at all so do not call.
She gave it a whirl once anyway. He did answer the phone to tell her that he had nothing to say to her. Click. She has not called again.
And this is what I want to
And this is what I want to do. I'm not sure how things will play out at first but I would rather just get it out of the way. I think once she knows that DH isn't going to put up with her BS she'll back off (hopefully). And she may realize that we don't want to be her buddy after all of the crap she has done, this isn't the brady bunch, and needs to deal with her personal issues with her husband and not mine. If she wanted my DH to support her she shouldn't have asked for the divorce. (Unfortunately, DH would have stayed with her because of the kids.) That ship sailed. She needs to quit trying to flag it down. It will never retuen to that port ever again other than to blow it up maybe.