Struggling to bond with 3 step-sons
It has gotten a little better since I took myself off the hook. I tell myself I do not have to be everything to my step sons because their mother is an addict and not around. I have not been yelling and less resentful inside, but then I have returned much of the parenting/disciplining role to their father. He is not as consistent with his parenting as I am, but he is good enough. I hope over time I can love my step sons as much as they need me to. Is anyone struggling to bond with their step children? They love me, but I am keeping my distance and I wish I could love them with the same abandon as I do my natural son.
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It is hard. I think at most
It is hard. I think at most what can be expected is a friendship. I am not stepkids mom, and never will be. They have a mom. Although I think I may feel differently if their mom was not in the picture. But I am not in that situation, so I really don't know.
im in a similar situation to
im in a similar situation to yours and it can be challenging for me to - im still learning just like you. my ss4's mother is in and out of our lives - mostly out - and when she decides to appear she does a number on the boy. she only sees him for a day every other week when she decides to involve herself and she reinforces behaviours like talking back, baby babbling etc that we discourage or have time outs for here because she thinks its cute. i am the mother figure in ss's life but say that out loud and i catch hell. im caught in wanting to bond more and at the same time being a little resentful because i want to have a child with dh and the reasons that dh gives me as to why he's not ready for another all relate back to bm or ss. i hope you figure it all out - good luck.
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."