New to the blog and needs to vent
I am a fulltime stepmother and fulltime parent I am currently attending school fulltime with 6 classes on my plate. I have had my stepson for 3 years now, he came to us when he was 9 and is now 12. He sees his mother for 2 months in the summer time and that is all. We live in Maine while she lives in Florida. I was in the military for 5 years and stepparenting is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Having my daughter I know now that there is an unconditional love for your children, but your children also have an unconditional love for you. The reason why I am wanting to vent, is that maybe other are in my situation and can help with some tips on how to be a better stepparent, but with everything that I have going I am pulling my hair out. His mother has not called in three months and 2 weeks ago I made him call his mom, because I saw that her not calling was effecting him. Her excuse.... the dog ate her phone! Im so not kidding when I say this, but when he called her she picked up right away and has not called sense. And My fiance is a good friend to his kids but not a good parent and I will be the first to admit this. At the moment I am at the point where Im thinking walking away will be better for my sanity than keep on like this. Please anyone give me some tips!!!!
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I have also had my ss16 for
I have also had my ss16 for going on 5 yrs now. I have found that it is best to let dadio and momio do the parenting. If I ever try parenting I just end up with a resentful brat on my hands. So I parent my ss via DH and it seems to work ok, but there are still issues of course. Ok for instance when you saw that ss needed to talk to bm you could have had your Fiance help him dial and then encourage him to talk to her, and you should encourage fiance to have ss call weekly like on Sun evenings or something. This way the boy will think dad is the one coming up with the idea and this will mean more to him then if you suggest it. I will say to ss16 things like your dad is planning pizza for supper and then turn around and say to my boys, I am planning pizza. All kids feel like their own parent is caringly preparing supper and it makes them feel more connected to their parent. I also suggest to DH when ss's room needs cleaning to tell him, when his laundry is still in the dryer after a day and night I ask DH to get it out and fold it, etc. Back yrs ago when I would do it I noticed ss would get more angry at things. Oh heck, life is not easy, step parenting is the hardest for me too. I raised a severely disabled daughter who is now turning 20 and she was easier then raising ss20 and ss16. WAAAAY easier. This road we chose is not for sissys!