Hypocrite!
My dh got his @ss chewed out by bm over the hair trims we got the skids for Easter weekend. Both skids were in dire need of a trim, as they had deadends. SS9 is trying to grow his hair out. DH explained to him that the hairdresser would leave the length.. just trim it up and make it neat. SS9 seemed ok w/the trim. BM called dh to tell her how upset ss9 was and how dare he cut/trim the skids hair.. and then went on to say some not so nice things about moi.
Fast forward 3 weeks later, he showed up this weekend w/a buzz cut.. gone, all of it. I was shocked to say the least, knowing what was said. I asked ss9 what happened?? did he no longer want long hair? He replied.. well, I guess my hair smelled. ummmmmmmmmm... (wth???) so I said calmly, did you try washing it? He said yes, but I guess I dont do a good enough job.
SOOOOO.. rather than washing the poor boy's hair and showing him the proper techniques to showering, she buzzed off his hair.. hair that she was irrate w/dh with for trimming. He used to have a skater boy look.. now.. not so much.
In addition to this event... when the skids were up last, they had a call from their bm saying that her bm got them bikes. After getting over the shock of the buzz cut, I ask what I thought was an innocent enough question. I asked them if they had been riding their new bikes. I was informed then that only sd9 got a bike, and its because her bm's bm found it in the trash. SS9 can ride mommy's bike when he wants..
Does anyone see ANYTHING wrong w/these things?? or am I crazy. The bm has a bike, but her son doesnt. The give a bike to sd but not ss.. cripes, at this point they could go onto craigslist, or yard sales and find him a bike if they are unwilling to go to a store to even the field.
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I am not trying to deflect
I am not trying to deflect my situation on you... but is the daughter also favored in other ways? In the bm's household little girl is favored over little man. I can see the haircut at "revenge" for something unrelated to shampoo. Please note... this would be in my home... completely different than yours. This is from the prespective that if this were to happen in my family.
yes
My SS13 had really long hair and was even mistaken for a girl...when my father died I told my DH that SS was going to have to clean up his hair or he was not coming, I did not mean to take it all of, I just wanted it trimmed up, SS sat down in the chair and told the lady what he wanted. We were out front, he returns to really short hair!!!! what a fight. so the next time we see him he has a mohawk...which was her response....of course he got in trouble in school and instead of getting rid of the mohawk BM tells the school that she is Native American (lie) and they asked for her number of regristry....so guess what she moved. My Ss always tells us that his mother is getting them something really cool and it normally comes from the trash....They only time she got them something new was when she lied to the church and they purchased her Christmas gifts for the kids!!! So yes their is something wrong with it...it is called Divorce Related Malacious Mother Syndrome...you can goolge it!!!
No Regrets is crap, they will always remember how you made them feel...
OMG.. I thought the hair
OMG.. I thought the hair problem was unique to my situation.. I had no idea the control issues related to children's hair. Its scary!!! She is out of control w/their hair. She does it herself and it SHOWS!!
The bm doesnt care for men, I suppose her own child should be no different since he is a member of that gender. I swear she is trying to make him gay. She wont enroll him in sports, and sends his sister w/him to boys scouts.. I mean.. COME ON!!
I was honestly shocked at the hair situation.. we left the length.. just got rid of the dead ends and made is soft again, same w/sd. their hair is always so brittle feeling, as I dont think she ever taught them properly how to wash their hair and get all the soap out. So I believe their hair washing ways have led to dry hair. Its just a sin.
These kids are going to grow up screwed up.. as I believe they are already well on their way there.
We've had the hair struggle as well....
BM would tell us to NEVER cut the kids' hair after I trimmed SD's hair
once....to look good for our wedding....you could barely tell I trimmed the dead ends. Anyway, SS's complained that they wanted buzz cuts like their StepBrother but BM kept saying NO! so DH gave them buzz cuts....Lord I never thought we'd hear the end of that!!!! later on down the road, if BM didn't "have time" to cut SS's hair, she would send a note for DH to cut their hair but always with rules...only 1/8 of an inch, don't forget to trim their necks, etc. Needless to say....SS's didn't get the haircuts!
"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"
WOW!
Yet ANOTHER similarity. My BM is the exact same way about the hair! We wouldn't DARE take either of the skids in for a trim-there would be HELL to pay! And we have the kids more than she does!!!
I wonder about that "Divorce related malicious mother syndrome"...sound like a lot of our BMs!! I think my BM also has manic depression (do they still call it that?) She could be just plain crazy too-not sure, she refuses to get any professional help. She has pulled a lot of stunts that are described in that article-and fails to recognize the harm she is doing to her children.
ex MIL
Smurfy1smile here - I can't post with my user name for some reason.
Anyway, my ex MIL was weird about my BD7's hair. When BD7 was heading off to kindergarten she wanted her haircut like a friend of hers - little bob at the shoulder - her hair had only trimmed before this and was in the middle of her back. So I got her hair cut and dropped her off with my ex's parents and the first thing out of grandma's mouth to my daughter was "why did you cut your hair, it looked better long". OMG, I did not know what to say. My daughter looked very upset so grandma added "but it looks nice".
I mentioned this comment to my ex and he replied "you can't teach an old dog new tricks". Guess you can't teach a moron manners or compassion either!
I think they want to feel in
I think they want to feel in control.
Cru.. What the heck.. that woman sees her child maybe once a year, I hardly think she should be saying what to do w/the skids appearance and stuff. OH.. and she doesnt pay you your CS.. Hello. I cant stand seeing women or girls w/hair past their mid back.. That is just ridiculous. They dont even look good. What was your dh thinking when he hooked up w/a chick that could sit on her own hair?
A long way back...
My SM once had my hair cut into a style that I really liked. When my Mom saw it she freaked out and immediately called my Dad and cused him like I have never heard before. That is the first reason why I would never think of cutting the SKids hair and secondly because their BM is a hair dresser. Although you would never be able to tell that is what she does for a living by looking at the SKids hair. It is just awful!!!
Don't make me get my flying monkeys!!!
Not so lonely now
All I did was trim SD's bangs so she could see and if I remember correctly we "lost" her for a few months over it. SD's BM let Grandma cut SD's hair and they have always tapered the sides (ugh) and it doesn't help that SD has a cowlick right in the middle of her bangs so short bangs stand up funny, I just want to say: Grow it long and TEACH her how to care for her hair.
SS's mom bitched a few times, and even refused to get his school pics one year because it was too soon into the school year and SS's hair hadn't grown to the length that BM wanted. It doesn't seem to matter what SS (12y) wants to do with his own hair as long as BM is in control. SS's hair grows fast and is thick, so at the begining of summer we've been known to bribe him with a mowhawk for a week in order to buzz it short so that he can be comfortable for a few weeks before it gets too long. SS is planning a mowhawk again this year knowing that he's got 6 weeks to enjoy before he gets in trouble. He's been known to come back after a weekend home in the summer telling us that his SF's mother (step-grandma that they live with) grounded him for having his hair too short....
I'm crossing my fingers that he'll choose to live here in the next 2 years, you know, after we get caught back up on the CS that was retroed back 13 months then not signed for another 6 months.... So much for actually paying on time every month to be slapped with over $2000.00 of back child support all at once. Aint life grand???