This is my first post, so please bear with me. Wow, where to start. My in laws have let bm move in with them. She has been living with them for since last Thankgiving. Currently my ss lives with bm. So both bm and ss live with them (we raised him until he was 10. Dh agreed when he was 10 because he would never keep him from his mom). Bm has moved ss 5 times in 3 years. This last time ending up with my husbands parents. I am floored. We are 1.5 hours away from them. Bm complains that she doesn't have the gas money to meet halfway to exchange ss for weekend visits. Wich do not bother me since I disengaged 2 years ago, but they do bother me for the sake of dh. But she does have the money to party, go travel 3 hours one way to see her family, and post all of this on Facebook. No rent, electric, water, insurance, and still no gas money.
I really have two questions. My mil called me when she could not reach my husband and asked when we would be coming for a visit. I bit my tounge and said I would have to ask him. He knows I will not go to their house while she is living there. I spoke to him and he agrees. He just doesn't want to have a confrontation with his parents. I don't think it will need to be a confrontation. Simply an explanation as to why we don't feel comfortable. But it is their home, we just don't feel comfortable in it.
Last question. We got both kids a $125 gift card for one of their Christmas presents. Ss was packing to leave, and I advised him to leave it as his mom regularly takes his money, he said don't worry, I am going to hide it where she won't find it. Well he came back last weekend and we went shopping. He went to check and see how much he had left on his card cuz he had bought some t shirrs and socks. He came back crying because $100 had been spent off his card. He had the receipt for his socks and t shirts. It was for $20. So somebody had spent 80 off his card and put it back for him to use. I asked him if he had it anywhere besides home and he said no. So he called bm. She said she only spent $30.cuz she was broke and needed to buy food. She has not bought food per ss. Ss is concerned that she is going to steal from in-laws purse/wallets. Should dh and I tell them about her stealing ss gift from us and to be careful, or let them learn the hard way? Sorry this was so long.