RE: What's with Women and Step Children?
Does anyone ever wonder why there are no websites (that I know of anyway!) for moms to vent about their own children? See, when it's your biokids, no one raises an eyebrow when you correct their behavior, tell them no, or even complain about them. In fact, most parents find it quite normal to get irritated with your kids' behavior and to want your own adult time. With biokids, there are plenty of things you can say or do to shape your kids. Bioparents are even allowed to joke about wanting to send their kids to mars. With skids, you can't say anything or even joke without being viewed as an evil step-threat.
Once DH's friend said how much he loves SD. We jokingly told him, "You can take her home with you." He went through the freaking roof! Yet, when I made that same joke about my BD, everyone laughed. WTF.
With bios, you can tell them to sit down and shut up. BUT, when you don't want the skid irritating you 24/7, then people ask, "What is it with you women??!"
Recently, a poster said, "I suppose you have no idea of how manipulative and nasty stepkids can be toward a stepmom? There's a ton of articles written by professionals regarding how much harder it is for a stepmom than a stepdad to come into a family and be accepted by the kids."
It's human nature that when you get backed into a corner with little or NO options, your frustration can get the best of you and you will vent or release the frustration in one form or another. Hopefully, it will be vented in harmless places like this website. All too often, the frustration turns to resentment, loneliness, anger...you name it.
SMs are really getting bashed and kicked while they are down every day in REAL life situations. So, "what is it with these women" who choose to express the worst of their feelings in a completely harmless forum??
- Frustr8d1's blog
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Excellent point Frutr8d1! My
Excellent point Frutr8d1! My SO & I have full custody with the SKids seeing their BM for two weeks or less per year. SO & BM both expect ME to treat the Skids as I would my own children but emotionally, I am unable to feel for them the way a BP would...there are VERY good reasons for this...I do everything for them yet they (the SKids, 8 & 10) do not treat me as a child would a parent (with authority).
I feed, clothe, care for & do everything for the SKids yet they ignore me, have to be reminded to say good night to me even & expect DH to pass information from them to me in an effort to avoid me. If they were mine, I'd deal with their random infractions as I see fit, but SO, being the BP makes the call on which disciplines are okay, which are enforced and which infractions can slide. This leaves me as a bystander while the SKids treat me with rudeness & disrespect.
It's a VERY difficulty position to be in.
Saying all of that though...I have to add that I know PLENTY of step dads who have difficulty in their home lives due to the exact same issues, so the original poster is simply seeing WOMEN post rather than MEN because we are more likely to google a support group I guess...lol
Yeah, you quoted me - and
Yeah, you quoted me - and it's true.
I've met tons of stepdads that say "shit, this stepparenting thing is a breeze, my wife takes care of everything and the kids are fine". Well, sorry to say, but that's not real life for most stepmoms right????
I think it's the classic double standard.
**** In the animal kingdom
****
In the animal kingdom there are some that will simply eat young that are not theirs.
He should be happy that you're not a polar bear.
(stolen but maybe this will make sense to those who are questioning SM's) }:)
MMMMMM SKIDS ON A
MMMMMM SKIDS ON A STICK...LMFAO
i'd be worried about getting
i'd be worried about getting food poisoning from my rotten sd!
That's exactly why I never
That's exactly why I never had children of my own. Apparently it's "wrong" to devour your young. Must be a vegan thing.
lol, shaman. Guess I must be
lol, shaman. Guess I must be a carnivore!
You see, TBSB123, every
You see, TBSB123, every step-parent situation is different. They are not all the Brady Bunch circumstances where lonely man meets lonely woman, each kid has a step-sibling their same age to play with. One bigger happy family.
Some of us SMs are dealing with ONE NIGHT STANDS and completely ABSENT BMs. Some are dealing with EOW skids who are brainwashed and taught bad behavior all week then invade our homes occassionally with their negative antics. Some are dealing with outright cruel skids who treat us like complete shit.
Not all kids were born to married parents whose marriage just didn't work out. There are babies born every day due to the parents' mistakes and when you become fully responsible for other people's mistakes, you tend to get just a little edgy.
Yeah you never hear anyone
Yeah you never hear anyone tell a bio parent when they vent about their own kids, "you knew what you were getting yourself into when you decided to have kids."
^^^Oh isn't THAT the
^^^Oh isn't THAT the truth!!!!!!
Because Stepmoms have it the
Because Stepmoms have it the worst. To the point, that's why. If you search for 'my kids are driving me nuts' you'll find all kinds of parenting websites where this is the norm. And it's accepted. But if a stepmom says my step kids are driving me nuts, that stepmom better do it in a place where others can understand - because you have to accept everything the little princes & princesses do, even if it's evil.
Cafemom.com is a moms site
Cafemom.com is a moms site and has different "groups". There are groups to vent about your own kids, lol. Hurricane Sandy has cafemom down right now but it will be up again soon:)