I'm a BM and SM and as a BM, I could not stand the thought of my child being in the care of anyone other than me full time. However, as a stepmom to a 9yo, I'm dealing with her BM who has absolutely no interest in what/when/where we do anything with SD9. I feel that if BM did care about how we take care of her, then I might actually feel like I'm "lucky" to get to make all the decisions concerning her well-being when that is something most BMs would want. Instead, I resent SD9 even more because BM has absolutely no interest in her care or in taking even a little bit of responsibility for her upbringing. In 3 yrs, BM only saw SD for a total of 10 days. She's $4,600 behind in court-ordered child support. Hasn't ever sent a birthday or Christmas card, and she protests everytime we tell her SD needs something no matter how small. As a BM myself, I would be a little irritated if even SM cut my daughter's hair! Yet, BM doesn't want anything to do with medical or educational decisions!

I actually tried to make her care by keeping her informed of school projects and activities. Instead of being appreciative, she freaked out and told me not to bother her with those things. In 3 years of SD being in our custody full time, BM has not asked or cared about medical, educational, or social things. All she wants is 1 visit per year for a couple of days so she can take pictures to post on Facebook to show the world she's the world's greatest mom! It's very sad to me and it does make me resent SD because if her own BM refuses take an interest or even a little responsibility for her, then why do I have to care and take on the full responsibility? Especially when SD doesn't appreciate or care about me? She's rude and downright mean to me.

Still, I realize I can't force her BM to care like a normal parent should so I gave up trying to reach out to her.