You know it's kind of strange. My FDH and I have to opposite problem. He "favors" my DD and I "favor" my SS (his son).

First of all to me, my daughter is older and I expect a lot more out of her. She has more stability and should act like it. I feel like SS is younger and hardly ever here. FDH works offshore. It is so hard to break bad habits in just a few days and sometimes FDH takes it overboard with his son. This has left me taking over discipline with SS.

With my daughter, my FDH seems to cut her more slack because she is so well behaved. He is able to have conversations and play with her more ( SS5 is developmentally delayed and has a hard time. I work with SPED children so this relates to me.) We find ourselves being harder on our children and being Disney with our step children. For some reason though... it works and it works well. If it was another way and not even I'm sure it would clash but for now it's good for us. We also believe that after the children leave.... we are going to be what's left. So we always put each other first.

So in the dinner mint situation, I would give the extra one to SS. FDH would give the last one to my DD. They both have someone going to bat for them. I got of on a tangent SORRY but just thinking......