I am trying to namaste the Nephew drama for a day, so I thought I'd share what is happening in growed up stepfamily life (ha)

Background since I have nothing up about my SD23.

Married to DH for 17 years.  We have BS16 and BS14 together.  He has 3 other kids from his other marriages.  Two are an adopted sibling pair.  The other is my favorite...SD23.  SD23 lived with us from age 5 to age 18, almost 19.  BM has "issues." BM was allowed to wallow in her mental illness and hide from her responsibilities as a mother by her husband for 13 years.  No visitation.  No phone calls. Not so much as a postcard.  SD has issues as well.  At 18 diagnosed with full bipolar.  Suicidal ideation. Self injury. Eating disordered. Can charm like a snake.  And the lies....whooooooosh. Disengaged.  DH disengaged for a couple of years as well. When he re-engaged, I encouraged him to do so, but I let him know that I would not be re-engaging at the time, and that our sons would decide when and if they wanted contact. 

July/August 2019

SD23 is back in our state, living with a man.  This is a still married man.  She actually lived with him and his wife and their daughters before she ran back to live with her mother.  His wife was in prison when they got together.  SD told DH he was divorced.  Not true.  So, she was living with this man and his pair of teenage daughters.  Wife was in prison on drug charges.  SD said that she was selling one of the girls prescription medications.  Don't know if it's true, but she was in on drug charges.  SD said mom had no parental rights.  Not true.

About 2 weeks before school started, they came up our way as one of the girls wanted to spend time with her maternal grandma. DH wanted all of us to get together. Our boys refused. I told DH I was not ready to play nice.  He went and came home all happy and smiley about how much he likes the boyfriend (this was before he was told that the BF was still married).  BF does appear to be a nice guy.  A little older than her (30 something), stable job, not a druggie or heavy drinker.  Doesn't hit her or yell at her.  He's a definite step up from the past 3-4 guys she's gone through in the past year.

SD texted DH in somewhat of a panic.  It appears that maternal grandma let the kid go with her mother.  Because there's nothing barring her from having her child, nothing can be done.  Now SD is getting a taste of stepmom life.  SD is being blamed by the girl for everything, and the kid states that she does not want to live with daddy and SD.  I got a half assed apology from SD.  She said she was sorry for being such a rotten kid, and that she understood why I disengaged.  She doesn't really, but it was a shock to read those words.

Today

DH texted with SD as we hired one of her high school friends to take care of our yard.He did a fantastic job, by the way, and is very affordable. We're watching Hurricane Dorian (we're on the Gulf Coast, she is mid state). She has a trip planned up Tidewater way.  But wait....she will be getting a new job when she comes back.  Her current place of employment is "not treating her well."  My thoughts are that she started the job in June, took a vacation a few weeks ago and they denied her request for this one.  She's an hourly, non skilled, easily replaceable worker.  She's done this before.  My fear is that she is having a manic episode or a down episode.  I don't even know if the boyfriend knows she has bipolar.  I mentioned my thoughts about her job not treating her well, and also told him that it doesn't look good to job hop with little experience.  She left a job while living with her mother and stepdad because she was "sexually assaulted." The "sexual assault" was not a rape, but a customer tried to touch her boob from across a counter. She left a damn good job to go on vacation. She moved down here and had a job lined up but they wanted her to work retail hours (um, it is retail).  Then she got the current job.  I just looked at the job market down there and she doesn't have a lot of choices. 

I really don't know.  I will just sit back and enjoy the circus that I know is starting soon.