Not sure what to do
Sd has severe acne, I buy her skin care product and I'm not sure what she does with them. Any way last night H mentioned that it has gotten much worse and that maybe we should get her this stuff he had just seen on tv. I say it's very expensive and it would be better if he took her to a dermatologist and get a prescription. Well that set off another argument about how mean I am to her and that it shows that I don't like her. WTF??? I try to be nice and this always happens. I tried to explain that severe acne can cause permanent scars and when it's that bad otc products don't help. But he just got madder. It's not like I was calling her names or making fun of the problem. If I leave it up to them sd would never go to a doctor. She has never seen a dentist so who knows how bad her teeth are. I say not taking a child to the doctor and dentist for regular check ups is neglectful. Right now I feel that if I try to talk to him anymore about it that it will just lead to more fights.
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I am 35 and have the complexion of
a 14 year old on her period. I have tried EVERYTHING!! Avon, because it worked great on XXX. Mary Kay, because it worked great on YYY. Pro-activ, because it worked great on ZZZ. I've been to the dermatologist and have had prescription creams and antibiotics, etc. Some things work better than others. Turns out, mine is a yeast/bacteria imbalance. I can't cure it completely, but I can sure help it by taking acidophilis (sp?). Anyway, everyone is different, but a dermatologist is the best way to start!
No offense, but your DH is a butthead. Good grief, you weren't suggesting taking her to a witch doctor, for crying out loud!
I'd say let him spend his own money on her and let the scarring begin. And piss on him for yelling at you. Let's hope she has thicker skin than him because severe acne is a teen-esteem killer!!
BTW-there is an ad for ImAcneFree.com just to my left. Even if my skin were perfect, I'd never be THAT cute!! Even when I was 17!
Speaking from Ex
Hi
Speaking from experiance, first my sister is a Dermatologist, and I hope that you are not referring to Pro Active..the one Jessica Simpson promotes,
Take the child to a doctor, first you can get less expensive products with the same ingridents as Pro Active .. and not all acne is treated the same.
Acne has to do with diet stess and number of things. I understand that your husband is being a pain, but she reallyl needs to see a doctor, it would be sad if her face got scared.
My husband is the same way. he is so busy being defensive about his child that he doesnt listen to what Im saying.. I land up defending myself and I didnt even do anything wrong...I find that if a person outside of the home suggest it to my husband, he accepts it more.. maybe someone could help you out.
He tells me I don't know
He tells me I don't know what I'm talking about but my youngest at 14 had a similar problem. I took him to the doctor and he was started on an antibiotic skin cream and oral antibiotics. His skin cleared up in just 2 mths and is still clear. He occasionally has a break out but nothing serious. He refuses regular check ups, says they aren't necessary but will take her to the er when she gets an eyelash in her eye. I just don't get it.
Me Either
It hard for a kid to have bad acne, does she talk about it to DH?, I mean maybe she can ask her Dad to help her, how much its upsetting her when she looks in the mirror.
Does she have insurance? even if DH has to lay out a little it would still be better int he long run
If she was sick inside, throwing up, he would take her to the doctor,., Acne is a sickness of the skin, a body reaction.
I feel bad, because I know that its upsetting to the child and schoolmates can be cruel ..that is great of you to try and help her out.
I'm with you!
For two years now I have sat across from SS16-Zippy-who has moon size craters filled with pus all over his face, chest and back (hereditary ACNE on both sides)-my original field is in cosmotology so I know what I am talking about-
It took me two years to force DH to get Zippy to a Dr. Dr. provides a prescription face cream and pills (that's how bad it is) and immediately refers Zippy to a Dermatologist (who he sees this April).
Do you think Zippy has been medically compliant? Do you think DH follows up? Two answers -NO-
Last week I asked DH "Is Zippy using his meds, his face seems to be getting worse and the scaring is TERRIBLE"-DH says "Yes I HEARD him washing yesterday and just now" I go into the bathroom-pills have not been touched and Zippy's face cloth is so dry it can crack-I bring DH in and he looks "surprised" Gee dear, I wonder what you will say to the dermatologist?-Zippy will not comply and does not care if his face is washed let alone scared.
last weekend we had a blow up about the issue
DH says to me:
"What's it too you if he wants acne?" "How is that affecting YOU?"
Me:
"Because I have to live with him and it is disgusting to look at and the fact that he does not shower until YOU tell him and some weeks with your head in the sand concerning Zippy that could be days"
DH's answer:
"I want you to sit at another place at the dining room table so you will not have to look at Zippy"
AND THAT'S WHEN I HAD TO KILL DH YOUR HONOUR!! SHEESH!
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
That's just like here
ss has bad acne. We haven't taken him to the dr. yet but have bought over the counter treatments. He started out using them and his face got a little better but if you don't keep on top of him, he starts skipping washing or doesnt' use any of it at all. Right now his face is awful. I asked him why he won't do what it takes to help make the acne go away. It's just laziness!!!!
He's even worse at Bm's. She's give up and probably won't even buy him anything else to help his acne.
I guess the next step is the dermatologist. However, ss won't swallow pills, so there's only so much we can do.
Dawn
My BS12 too...
Erythromycin(sp?)...
It's a mild antibiotic that can be prescribed by your primary physician. Costs just about nothing and it's an easier fix than making them wash their face. (My son's back is where the majority of the problem is)
As far as not swallowing pills....if you can get a cat to do it, so can he.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
Ha ha - Dawn, I want to see you
Holding his mouth shut and massaging his throat to get the pill down like you would a cat! Seriously though, if he can swallow a bite of food, he can swallow a pill!
trust me
been there, done that...........tried everything short of the cat method.(the cat is more cooperative!!!!) It was sooooooooo awful! I'm not going there again. I'll move out first. That's how bad it was. I think he caused me to have some major anxiety problems when we were trying to get him to take meds for his ADHD!!!
Bad, bad, bad!
Dawn
I have permenate
severe scarring from acne. It started when I was 11.
I saw many doctors, tried every over the counter, every special TV thing, every prescription.
When I turned 19 a DR prescribed Accutane. That was the ONLY thing that worked, but the scarring was already severe by then. I suggest you press you H to get her help NOW no matter the cost!
Same Here.
I had the scarring kind as well. My mom tried everything she could BUT Accutane b/c of all the side effects that go along with it. I was so embarrassed of my face that I would go to cross country meets in full blown make-up just so nobody could see the pits on my face. My mom finally decided to try it after I came home from a cross country meet crying b/c one of my teammate's mom asked me if I ever washed my face. By then, I already had scarring on my face, but it worked. I took it for a year and a half, and I experienced moodiness/depression and had to have blood tests every month, but it was worth it. It even helped with the scarring that I already had! I would do it all over again in a heartbeat if I had to do it again. I just wish that my mom didn't wait so long to put me on it! Now, I just have the regular breakouts that come before my cycle, but I can deal with that. All I have to use is OTC stuff now.
I wish your H wasn't being so bullheaded about this. This is a huge self-esteem issue with teens; hell even with adults! I'm not going to let my kids go through what I did.
Someone's mother asked you if
you ever washed your face?!?! How rude of her and how awful for you!! I'm sooo sorry. I'm sure people thought that about me a lot when I was younger, but at least no one said it out loud!
My mother has always had perfect, beautiful skin and had no idea how traumatizing it was for me. I love her dearly, but I do resent a bit that she didn't take me to the doctor as a teen. Fortunately, I don't have scarring, but only because my skin heals well (several abdominal surgeries and one tiny little line to show for it).
Yep. I couldn't believe it either.
That's why I want to be an advocate on my future children's behalf, if they end up suffering like I did as a teen. It is such a blow to your self esteem if you're a cystic acne sufferer. Once I started taking Accutane, things got so much better, and I became a happier confident woman. My mom didn't waste any time getting my sister on it when she saw her going down the same path as me. That's what sucked about being the oldest slash "guinea pig" in childrearing!!
Your H obviously
doesn't want your help. What a moron.
Pro Active and all those other things they sell on TV are not universal cures for acne. Everyone is different, and H will just be wasting his money! But you know what? If he wants to do that, let him. Let him waste his money. Let him neglect his child. It's sad that he can't see what this is doing to his kid, but what can you do when you won't listen to you?
Hopefully it won't take him long to realize that the TV stuff won't work well with treating his daughter's acne.
The last time we tried to
The last time we tried to talk to sd about this she reached up and popped a zit right at the kitchen table. So apparently it doesn't bother her at all. The top picture to the left on this site looks good compared to her face. This girl doesn't care how she smells, looks or acts yet she thinks every university is dying to have her enroll there. Right now the only friends she has are just like her and she uses them for sex and material gain.
EEEWWW
I had just taken a bite of my lunch when I read that.... barf!!!
I say back off, then. Your advice, loving though it may be, is neither wanted nor appreciated, so I would hold on to it and use it on people that do appreciate it. Like us!!
Of course I'm notorious for bottling things up then blowing up over a dirty sock or something. Maybe I should keep my advice to myself!
As I was typing I saw that
As I was typing I saw that picture on the webpage,, Its very hard to help people that dont want to help themselves.
Its only with age sometimes do we realize that we were given good advice.
Im sure when she is with her friends, she feels comfortable, maybe in time she will realize and become more aware of it Like I said before she is lucky your watching for her, its just sad Dh wont take care of it now
Popped a zit athe kitchen table, OMG!!!
Sometimes you can only try...
Well perhaps
she feels that it will eventually go away on it's own. Which that was what I was told by doctors, family and so I thought so myself after everything I tried did not work. She will care once she sees the deep pox and icepick scarring that will never go away.
If she doesn't give a shit, it's her problem.
You're right. It's just so
You're right. It's just so disgusting to look at and I can't understand not caring about your appearance like that.
Thats what sucks, YOU'RE the
Thats what sucks, YOU'RE the one stuck looking at her! ugh!
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
I hate for it to sound
like I'm standing up for her, but as severe as it sounds, maybe even if she were to try all the over the counters, prescriptions, ect. she may still have terrible acne, so it's not fair to be treated that way.
Saying you can't stand to look at her bc of it it. It actually may be something she cannot control. Being someone that was in that situation for many years, if anyone EVER said they couldn't stand to look at me bc of my acne, punches would have been thrown and they would have been well deserved!
Like I said, I tried everything, every product, showered 3 times a day and wore makeup to cover it up. CRIED, CRIED, AND CRIED from 11-19 until they prescribed me Accutane.
However, if she smells and doesn't shower, that is disgusting! Maybe focus on H discussing that with her, rather than her acne.
Every time I try to talk to
Every time I try to talk to H about sd, her behavior or appearance whatever he starts ranting that I think my kids are perfect. I don't, I'm the first to admit the stupid or crazy things they did. I think my sons were normal boys that did stupid things sometimes. For instance when my oldest was 15 I came home from work to find he had shaved his head because a friend dared him to. Then there was the time my youngest took his skateboard to the top of the largest slide in the park. It was right across the street from my house. Needless to say that didn't turn out very well. I had the kind of boys who attempted to jump their bikes across ditches and creeks. I've got plenty of gray hairs from all their stunts. But they NEVER lied to me, stole from me or were rude to adults and they not once physically attacked anyone. I know they weren't perfect but they weren't delinquents either.
Amen
My son jumped off a Barn roof into high pile of horse manure, because him and his friends thought it would be fun.
He lost his new cell phone in horse..excuse me "horse shit"...he was looking for it for 3days, I had horse crap all over my house.
He never found it.
My DH had a canary...how could he be so stupid
I just said ..well thats what boys do....he's not bad for it..they just dont think..and to me my son is not rude or says a bad thing about anyone...so Im very proud of my son...
what worked for me is:
I've had acne (mild) since I was a teenager. I've tried everything (including perscription drugs), and for me, the only thing that has worked was ProActiv. Not the cleanser or the mud mask, just the lotion...I just use the ProActiv lotion after I cleanse with Cetophil every night before bed.
It took about one month to work. I'll never use anything else.
Ferret Mom
from everything you write about this man I swear he is mentally ill. My husband is bipolar and we have had a tough almost two years ( thank God things are getting better)and he is far more rational than your husband.
I feel so bad for you because no one should have to live like you do. Your SD is a beast because he made her one. I know you have a lot of things to think about during your cruise but I think I would have your sons move you out while your gone. You deserve so much better than this.