I HATE HER
Well we just took BM to court last friday for being in contempt (we hadnt seen the boys in 2 wks) the judge chewed her ass, gave her a $380 fine and we got an extra week with the boys in the summer 2 make up for the time we missed. So today we were suspossed to have the boys well BM called to let DF know that he couldnt have them, bc she hasnt recieved child support (which is child supports fault not ours) and that she would like DF to pay her for the time she had to take off work last week bc SS4 was sick, but she never even called us to see if we could watch him (she also keept them from us last wed, wed are our overnights during the week). Our attorney called her and informed her that she would be in contempt again and she said "let him take me back to court!", so needless to say I am raging mad and very sad bc now we havent seen the boys for 3 wks, I HATE HER!! And so to top it off it SS4 first soccer game and she called to see if he or we were coming he said yes and she flipped out bc she hates me so I decided game on we have every right to be at that game so were going, and well just see what she does, Im sure she will make a huge scene. Wish me luck!!!
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Have you tried the police?
I know this depends on the state, but where we live custodial interference (which is what BM is doing) is illegal. CS and visitation are not supposed to be linked. I think you have every right to call the police and tell them it is your visitation (have the court order). In our state, as I understand it, the police WILL get involved. We have had to threaten this ourselves, and I think my husband even went through with it once.
Good Luck...
And I'm so sorry for what you are going thru.
When I read your story, I had a jolt run thru me because I used to be in your shoes having the SAME type of arguments with BM and her withholding visitation.
I strongly recommend that you continue to file contempt charges. The
judge will seriously tire of seeing her face. Keep your head high and continue to "fight" with dignity and don't ever fall into the trap of her argument baiting. If she approaches you or DH screaming and making a scene....rise above it and don't argue with her and just respond with "I'm sorry you feel that way..." and walk away.
If you it makes you feel ANY better, my skids BM was A LOT like yours not that long ago. She has gotten a lot better since DH and I made the decision to stop the madness. She still has her moments but, like a two year old, she had to be taught that we weren't reacting ever again to her temper tantrums.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
It took a lot of money...
and a good lawyer.
Your BF also needs a backbone. My DH will only put up with so much before he steps up and says "enough". A lot of the time he'll pacify her to get what he wants....and I decided to ignore it and let them hash it out. My sudden non-involvement has worked wonders on their relationship with each other. Her hatred of me has even subsided on many levels because of my decision to "butt out".
In your situation, (and this is just me) I would decide if the good outweighs the bad. Money (or lack there of) is a huge factor in most relationship arguments. You grow more and more resentful by the day. I used to be in a similar situation and DH wasn't contributing his fair share of OUR household. So I explained to him that I absolutely refused to pay for ANYTHING outside of the cs order. No school supplies, tennis shoes, field trips, etc. DH always told her to use the $ that he pays every week....he just couldn't afford it. She'd scream, yell, withhold the kids, and so forth. But after a thousand "no's", she finally quit asking and when DH quit engaging the constant arguments, she stopped trying to argue.
You can't change your BF's point of view....but you can change your tolerance of it.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
Keep taking her to court...
Hello there, I haven't been on here for awhile, buy I am a paralegal and I have seen many cases where it has gone so far that custody has even been transferred to the other parent due to the custodial parents refusal to follow an order of the court regarding visitation. IF, you can afford to, take her @ss back to court EVERY time she refuses to provided the child for visitation, also make your attorney file a motion for attorneys fees for causing you to have to pursue this so many times in court. good luck to you. if i can help you with any questions, please let me know. I can not give LEGAL advice, but there are some things I can answer and other things I can "point" you in the right direction aboout.
Making the decision to have a child is momentous~ It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside of your body~
Some people just never
Some people just never learn.....just like our BM....cutting off her nose to spite her face!!
"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"
how do u pursue this
if u cant afford a lawyer?
you research the net for
you research the net for your laws, call clerk and ask how to file, and find sample motions for free on the net for your verbage, pay your filling fee if there is one and file it.
you research the net for
you research the net for your laws, call clerk and ask how to file, and find sample motions for free on the net for your verbage, pay your filling fee if there is one and file it.