I Do Not Feel Appreciated
Right now, I am not sure what's the next steps to take in my relationship. I am in a long-distance relationship with a gentleman that has 4 kids (he gets his children every weekend). Let's get to the drama...just this past weekend, there was an event that required my b/f and his kids to be in a wedding . Being the woman I am, I wanted to make sure my man and his children's appearance were spotless. Saturday morning, we ran around town and picked up new shoes and socks for their suits. Fast forward, 2 hours until the wedding. I stated that I would drive myself in a separate car, since I was not required to be there for early placement with the wedding party. I helped my significant other and the kids get dressed like a mad hatter woman. I did it all to help out, plus other family members who showed needing assistance, I was there to lend a hand. Finally, I got everyone out the door, and I had exactly one hour to be at church.
Well I showed up 15 mins late, and the bride would not let anyone else in. I definitely understood. So I called my significant other to let him know, and he was extremely upset that I was late. He said..."Well, if you would've stopped running around helping everyone get dressed, you could have rode with us and you would have been on time." I immediately went OFF. I explained to him that the ONLY reason I was late, was that I put my own needs to the back burner to help him and his family to look nice, that they would get to the church on time. I let him know that he doesn't appreciate me and just saying these hurtful things lets me know, how meaningless this relationship is to him.
His comeback: you had one hour to get dressed. You had more than enough time to get here. You decided to wear all of that make-up when it was not required. I am a simple man, you don't need all of that to look nice.
Ultimately, I decided to not attend the wedding and went back to the house for the remainder of the evening. Am I wrong for not attending the wedding? Is this relationship worth saving when I am hurt from what was said to me?
He stated that he was joking about the whole thing and that I took what he said out of context, like how???
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You have a right to be hurt.
You have a right to be hurt. I don't know if he's done things like this in the past.
I also hate when men try to tell women how much makeup to wear. Like this makeup is not for you, pal.
You said "Being the woman I
You said "Being the woman I am, I wanted to make sure my man and his children's appearance were spotless".
So you acknowledge it was YOUR CHOICE to spend so much time on the kids and DH's appearance, when really, NONE of that was your responsibility. I can only assume it was done to impress others with what a great GF you are and what a Happy Family you guys make together - and in the end, you ended up embarrassing your SO and making yourself look bad.
He could have been nicer about it, but he was right. You wanted everything to be perfect, and in the end you were late because of your own actions.
If you don't feel appreciated for doing things that no one wanted you to do or asked you to do, then by all means, stop doing those things. But own your reasons for doing them in the first place.
After all that there was no
After all that there was no thank you or appreciation, only blame and gaslighting. Shocking that this man with 4 kids is single! Yeah, maybe you tried a bit too hard and sacrificed yourself in the end. Let this be a look at your future. Hard work with no appreciation.
Sorry hun, he is an a$$.
The only thing here that
The only thing here that matters to me is his “I was joking” comment. So your hurt feelings are your own fault apparently. No. That’s not what a loving partner does.
Even if he WAS actually joking (and we all know he wasn’t) he should be falling all over himself to apologize for upsetting you.
Maybe you did too much, maybe you (and he) could have planned better. Sure. But “joking?” Nope. He’s a jerk. Does he ever admit fault about anything? Or are things always your fault?