For a while now I've tried to tell DH that Redface Magee is not autistic. That was a quick diagnosis by a doctor who over books patients on medicaid and gets them in and out. When BM1 got that diagnosis and decided it was better than the others she had got previously she almost seemed delighted about it.
"My baby isn't dangerous, he's autistic" "It's his aspergers, he's not hearing voices"
I tried and tried to talk to DH about it, he didn't want to hear it. He even told me that I am not expert on this and I don't know what I'm talking about or anything that Redface goes through with his disorder or what he and BM1 is going through.
But I have a secret. shhh
It isn't my secret to tell, and though he was very upset that I had never mentioned it he eventually understood.
BS14 has autism spectrum disorder.
He's very high funtioning, he was diagnosed very early in life and there was a plan of treatment made right then and there which I have always followed. He was not put on antipsychotic drugs and enabled all his life. When he crossed a line he got his butt spanked. When it was a minor infraction he got punished a different way. Discipline, all children need it along with rules, boundaries, and of course all of those with love. Which I did. Last week I was asked to attend a meeting with the couselor of BS14's school, and a few of his teachers. At first I wasn't sure what the deal was. For a minute I thought he had gotten into a fight with a boy that he had been having trouble with for the last few weeks. DH wanted to attend so ok.
Well, BS14 will no longer be needing his special classes for kids on the spectrum. He has progressed very well and can join all regular classes. BS14 was very proud of himself, as was I proud of him. DH on the other hand....had a deer in head lights look for a while.
He had no idea, neither does anyone else. I knew, his father knew, and only the certain members of his schools staff knew. I didn't want him labeled as so many are. But, as I predicted when we were first told this that the right type of plan will give the best results. I made sure he wasn't treated differntly than any other kid, knew the signs of overload he had and when I saw them I removed the problem. Encouraged all his interests from playing the sax to painting to computer drafting. I never once told him it was a reason for him to not try. That he was my special little baby who I'm going to make excuses for around every corner.
I even read up on how nutriction and physical activity could help reverse some of the effects and put that into his daily life as well.
DH- So that's why you always said RFM problems weren't autismn.
Me- Yep
DH- You could have told me.
Me- It isn't my secret to tell, it's BS14's. If he wanted to tell you he would have. And as you see, he's not incapable of living a normal life with out constantly going bat shit crazy on anyone who tells him no.
DH- Yeah, I can see that.
Will this change how they deal with Redface Magee, probably not. But maybe, just maybe DH will listen to what I have to say about things now.....maybe.