I just posted a blog asking for stories and advice on all this. I'm afraid that SS isn't going to be prepared when it comes to college time either. My SS also thinks that he is the best sports player ever and is going to play sports at college on scholarship and get drafted, all that. I'm just sitting here thinking dear SS you aren't smart and not the best sports player because you don't try or apply yourself. I'm waiting for the time that SS will have to start writing papers since he is in high school now. But IDK what the school system teaches anymore, it is all on a computer and they never have homework, book reports or books to read anymore. I mean do they even have spelling tests anymore? 

I remember growing up thinking I wasn't very smart but I had a 3.7 gpa or so. I only applied to state schools and got into all 3 I applied to but I never ever thought about applying to really competative schools. Now I see a pattern with some of these kids, my SS included that they think they are great at everything and it isn't true because of a lack of practice and application. It is really frustrating to me because I've had to increasingly disengage for years b/c of all the SP problems we face. Now it is frustrating b/c if these dummies would have just listened to me and did what I suggested then they would be miles in front but no. I think you are right and there is a connection between teachers facing backlash from either parents or the school for the failure of students. Back in my day, teachers didn't care and you either did the work or you failed now we are starting to see some gentle schooling coming into the mix. 

Some state schools.  You don't want him sitting home because he didn't get in to any schools 

There is always benefit to attending top tier schools.  However, regional accreditation by one of the accrediting bodies approved by the Department of Education is the litmus test for degree viability.

I was accepted to Princeton on early acceptance and chose not to attend. I knew I was not interested in doing that much work or costing my parents that much money.  I did the dance around State Universities, JCs, CCs, and Private Universities until I finally finished my undergrad in engineering.  My degree is from a private for profit accredited university.  In my career I have had employees from a number of the best of the best schools.. My COO little brother and I graduated together.  Our Master's degrees are from another private for profit accredited university.  

The key is getting a degree from an accredited school in a field that provides a solid living for those who perform in the job market.  It is not necessary to go to an Ivy League school.  

It is always an interesting thing to see when a fresh grad from a top tier school shows up for work with a superiority complex and gets humbled in a hurry by night school grads who have a work ethic.  My first promotion 6mos after starting my professional career after engineering school was to Trouble Shooting Lead in the test engineering department.  There were several dozen engineers in the organization testing highly complex $MultiMillion capital equipment made up of robotics, vacuum, digital control, gas delivery, and a number of other systems.  The University I attended for engineering school focused on application engineering. The theory was crammed into our heads. Then we designed systems, and  then we spent countless hours in the lab building the designs we created, testing them, and making them work.

Only months after graduation I was mentoring any number of MIT, UT, A&M, CalPoly, etc, etc, etc.... graduates that I had started work with on the same day and other engineers in troubleshooting methodologies, and various problem resolution methodologies.

No education is a waste. However, not having one can be.  It is about the degree, not the University label.

That said, I do sometimes regret not going the Princeton route.

The sad thing about it all is, colleges and universities have evolved to be cash generators for the schools and loan companies.  The risk to many is that there are some people who have zero business going to college who are buried in school loans for degrees they never finish. Those people and their loans cover a massive chunk of the operating costs of colleges and universities.  The graduates are the icing on the school's cake.

My engineering program from a for profit and my MBA from a for profit were more work by far than any of the traditional schools I attended.  Because they serve two markets, the students they educate, and the employers who hire those students, those schools have to have their shit wired very tightly.  Their graduates have to know their stuff and be able to apply it on day one of their job.  Their drop out rates are extremely high because of the work load they require.   

My SIL is one of these non graduates buried in $6figures in school loans. When she was living with us and we had our collective foot up her ass to attend class, do the work, perform at a college level, etc, etc, etc... she was a solid B student.  She is far from stupid. She is a math savant.  Though we she moved in with us to start Unversity she was functionally illiterate.  DW pulled strings with her alma matter, a private traditional university, to get SIL in.  DW was very close with her favorite Prof who kept SIL under his wing.  We did not tolerate her skipping class, not doing the work, or doing substandard work. We were paying and for damned sure she was not going to be allowed to waste our money.  We reviewed every assignment she did, made her rewrite countless pages of work product, and would not let her pull her usual shit.

She finished her Freshman year of univisity with a decent GPA of about 3.2. Then she ran home and transferred to alocal public University not far from her home town.  She attended that University for about 10 years, failed more classes than she passed, had delusions of getting into their school of education to be a teacher, was laughed at when she applied to the education school, had not option but going the general studies route, and was finally laughed out of even the Gen Stud program.  They finally would not even allow her to apply for school loans and pretty much ignored her until she just stopped going.  $100K in school loans later. Ant that is a State University.  To this day, 20+ years later, she tells stories about how mean we were, we did not let her play the learning disability bullshit that she weasled her way through HS with, etc....   She did eveyr bit of the work her Freshman year. We did not do it for her. We provided structure, support, and held her accountable. She did well. Then, she ran off and reverted to her spe-cial weasle out of doing the work bullshit thinking that Unversity was no different than HS. Unis don't give a shit. You pay your tuition and your room and board and you go to class. Or not. That is up to you. Eventually even a University will cut you off because you are a waste of skin taking up space that could be allocated to someone who will actually graduate and who will not waste the Profs time.

For the past two years she has been working for their school district as a teaching assistant.  Supposedly her boss approached her about finishing her degree and becoming a teacher. SIL took a haughty attitude and supposedly refused because she did not want to put up with the extra BS that she would have to has a teacher. Reality is, there is not a snowballs chance in hell she could complete a degree.  For 10 years she missed so many classes, failed countless classes, never retook them, and she and her DH lived on her school loans. That is how they put the downpayment on their home, that has been in foreclosure at least 3 times, how they bought cars, etc...  She failed for the same reasons she has lost every job she has ever had. She is smarter than the teachers, the bosses, and they don't like her. So, they don't let her use bullshit excuses about a sick kid, or some other crap excuse for not going to class, or work, etc.....

I know that parents want their kids to be successful in college. However, not every kid is capable of performing.  That is why I am a proponent of parents are paying, the kid goes where they are told, studies what they are told, and held accountable.  Once they graduate, they can finish growing up on their own time and their own dime.

If I had been held to that  model right out of HS it would not have taken me 11yrs and 220 semester hours to comply my single undergraduate degree.  I would not have changed majors every year if not every semester, I would not have gone to a school where I could ski all winter and party because it was in a State where the drinking age was 19 and grandfathered anyone who was already 19 when they changed the drinking age to 21.

I graduated at the top of my class as Outstanding Graduating Sr. That award went to the graduated with the highest performance levels academically, athletically, and in military leadership.  Even though I was well prepared I did not have the maturity to run with that on my own in a fully unstructured environment. I had to grow up to figure it all out.  We decided that it was best for SS for us to outsource that process to people who are experts at getting young people to focus, perform, and contribute to a collective effort.  I am eternally appreicative to the USAF leaders for what they have done for my son in developing him into the professional and leader that he is.  He is still working on completing his undergrad.  He has his AS, but..... until a promotion is missed because he does not have a Bachelors, I doubt he will do more than a few classes a year.  But, at this stage our goal for him is that he reaches his 20 years of service and can retire with full pension and medical benefits.  Then, our collective foot will go up his ass to finish his degree so he can access those opportunities in the competitive job market.  6 years, 3 weeks, and  5 days until he completes his 20.

May everyone's kids who are on the approach path to HS graduation get into the schools  or training progrmas that they want, have a drama free university/trade school/apprenticeship experience, and on to the careers of their dreams.  Whatever the hell that may be.  I sure as hell have no idea. But I had one hell of a great time on my eternal student journey.  I still have no idea what I want to do and be when I grow up.

Here comes community college! There is nothing wrong with CC btw but there may be something wrong with your SS.