My DH and I have been together for over 20 years and he has a daughter who is 16. She was living in a different country with her mother and just 3 years ago, we decided to have her come live with us. Throughout all this time that she was not living with us, we made sure that we visited her at least 6 times for the year and we have continually supported her financially over the years.
She has been wrecking havoc on our lives and have given my DH an ultimatum that he needs to choose her or me (his wife), she moved out to his sister’s place (her aunt hates me) and have been causing more damage than before.
Ever since she arrived in this country, we have been showering her with love and support. I have gotten her into one of the best schools and have taken her to the dentist to fix her crooked teeth (that is costing me approximately $10,000). I got a phone for her over Christmas and that kid ran the bill up to $1000 for the month, so I turned off her phone before it went higher.

Now her BM is in the picture and has joined with my DH’s sisters and is siding with this kid to disgrace us to the community. This little girl has called me the worst names in the book and she even went as far as to tell me that the last time she checked” I wasn’t the one who opened my legs to push her out.”

My DH and I have decided to fight this together and have ignored them to date, but it is tearing me apart. How do I deal with this?