OK. Woke up feeling less hopeless today, and a big part of that has been due to the kindness I've been shown here. You have no idea how much it means to me to have you all, and with the level of prayers going out...who knows what that can mean for my best friend. Ya know?

I think I've cried it out, which was my intention. Monday was bad news, Wednesday was much worse....but I think I've gotten the "what if" negativity out of me. I needed to do that and really feel it, so when my girl is going through this I can be strong for her when she can't be.

I don't want to be by her side and have her see any fear or second guesses in me. Why? BECAUSE MIRACLES CAN HAPPEN. I am not going to be unrealistic, but on the other hand, I refuse to just lay down with her when she'd down. She has held me up through some crazy stuff, and I am GOING to hold her up now. G*d can do what he does best and work his will and love on her...what I can do is be right there and encourage her...make her laugh if possible....and listen and listen and listen when she needs an ear.

But to you guys, thanks for being there to hold ME UP. I pray for many blessings on your heads for the time you took to pray for her (and me, tho I know she needs them more) and to remind me that there is so much good in the world, and this is not without hope.

*HUGE, MEGA, SUPER-SIZED HUGS*