What??? Who does this?
So SD10 has a bed wetting problem she is working on and has made wonderful progress. At our house she does NOT wear a pull up at night and is doing great! We tell her how proud we are of her and continue the good work. At BM house she wears a pull up at night and wets every times. She is told she is lazy and just won't get up to use the bathroom. I understand the frustration and cleaning bedding as we went through that but I am convinced it is a matter of 'training the brain' and if she is wearing a pull up it won't change. Now for the infuriating part! SD10 was invited to a sleep over and was able to go but BM is INSISTING she wear her pull up. SD10 is devastated. I said well just don't wear it and she tells me her Mom will check if she wore it or not and if she doesn't she will have to do chores all day as her punishment. Well then SD10 says she is just going to throw it away. SD8 overheard this and tells BM. BM says she is going to talk with the friend's mom and if SD10 doesn't wear it she will never go to another sleep over again. Stepdad talks to BM and all he gets is.."I'm her Mom I think I know how to raise my kid". I would really like to do something to help this poor girl but my hands are tied!!! Any advice???
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I dunno. If I was a mom who
I dunno. If I was a mom who invited kids over for a sleepover, I don't think I'd appreciate it if one kid pissed my bed. I mean, I'd deal with it, and be as nice as I could, but I'd be pretty mad about it if I found out she had a problem the parents knew about and they told her it was perfectly fine not to wear a pull up. So I don't think BM is out of line here. Unless the kid can be trusted 100% not to have a bed wetting incident she should wear a pull up or not go.
As far as getting on the same page, has this kid been taken to the doctor? If they're wetting at this age, it can be a physical problem. If you take the kid to a doc, follow the doc's treatment advice. If BM refuses to follow what the doc said, there's no hope you are going to change her mind, so just do the best you can.
I don't know if she has been
I don't know if she has been to a doctor. I have asked step dad but he says BM won't give him a straight answer and he's tired of asking. I understand not wanting pee all over mattresses and bedding... I really do! But why can't BM have a decent conversation with this girl instead of always threatening her! SD10 hasn't wet at our house in at least 4 months. Why can't she work with the poor girl at her home so SD10 doesn't have to deal with these humiliating moments???? I am 100% confident SD10 would NOT wet the bed as she doesn't at our house, camping, or at her grandparents house. All places she does NOT wear the pull up.
We have spent a good year working with this girl and yes... her mattress is digusting and have gone through a couple mattress pads...potty training takes work and I don't believe pull ups until who the hell knows when is the answer.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not
Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending Bm's method of dealing with the entire situation. The girl does need to go to the doctor, and if she hasn't been, shame on BM.
That being said, until the girl stops having bed wetting incidents, period, I don't think its fair to send her over to someone else's house for a sleepover without either a) a pull-up or b)letting the other mom know and deciding for herself if she was comfortable with the risk.
Good idea thanks..focus on
Good idea thanks..focus on what's good for the kids not the Bull!!!
How about your DH talk to the
How about your DH talk to the mother holding the sleepover?
Poor kid.
Have you had her kidneys
Have you had her kidneys checked? My late husband was doing this at 10 and they missed all the signs and when he was 14 the kidneys failed...
I think your DH tells the BM to leave the kid alone. How embarrassing for her. Have you seen the movie on Michael Landon, his mom did the same thing to him to humiliate him to stop.
Some kids just do this, but it is all in how the parents deal with it.
Agree with the psychological
Agree with the psychological problem. Every time S12 spends the night, he wets the bed. Why? He is afraid of the crickets that get into our house. Too afraid to get out of bed and walk 15 feet to the toilet.
My oldest son was a bed
My oldest son was a bed wetter. I sent him with a pull up and told him to change in the bathroom so no one would know. In the morning, he had a plastic bag for him to put it in to. If he felt embarrassed I told him to bring the bag home. I also gave the mother a heads up of the wetting issue. I tried to not put pressure on him because I really don't think he could help it.
My SS14 has a wetting issue too. His BM has made life hell for him. He's been told that he likes the feeling of wetting himself, he's too lazy to go to the bathroom. That he only wets at DH's house, etc. We don't make a big deal about it at all. When he wets he's responsible to wash his sheets, shower and wash his clothes. Nothing is said. No punishment, no ridicule, not like BM's house.