My SD is wrecking my relationship. Help!
When my boyfriend and I got together his daughter was sweet and kind. But, it was all just a show. She is just like her mother a miniplulative, lying brat. The worst part is when daddy is around she acts like she is perfect. It's gotten to the point where I can't even stand her voice. Hearing her say daddy like she's a little angel makes me cringe. I used to enjoy spending some time with her, because she has a terrible mother. Now I can stand even being in the same room. I have two children from a previous marriage and my daughter always had some behavioral issues. But they were never near as bad as they are now. My Daughter has picked up behavior from SD. Lying, crying, throwing fits, treating me like trash. She has watched SD do that. Worst part is boyfriend thinks my daughter is the worst because he doesn't see how horrible SD treats me. She also just wants daddy to her self. Last year for Christmas she wrote a letter to Santa asking for it just to be the two of them again. We now have a baby together. A little boy, he is perfect. But I am miserable every time SD is around. I feel like I am subjecting my kids to a terrible kid. I love my boyfriend he is wonderful. Works hard so I can stay at home with my son he is thoughtful, and kind. But when it comes to his princess there's not much I can say. I don't know what to do! I feel like a terrible person for disliking a kid so much. But I can't stand her!!! Help!!
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I'm not sure what the girl's
I'm not sure what the girl's age is.. or your daughter.. so some of this could be age related to an exent. One thing you should be clear on.. it is your boyfriend who is ruining your relationship by not parenting his child.. Kids are not born knowing how to be perfect little humans.. your daughter included. It sounds like you, as well, struggle with consistent parenting as it sounds like your daughter has many of the same issues (she had them prior too.. even if some behavior is new) as his daughter.
It's also quite likely your daughter is just as big of a PILL to him when you are not around.
Ideally, you and he would have worked together to improve both of your children's behavior before bringing another child into the mix. It may be that your family would benefit from some parenting classes and therapy certainly for you two as a couple.
The fact that your BF can't trust you to be honest with him.. is a problem. Why does he think you would be lying? It appears that both of you may be looking at your own kids with rose colored glasses... and just because you think your daughter is "less" naughty doesn't mean that it is ok... and yeah.. kids will act up. It's up to the parents to correct that.
Chances are your BF has the
Chances are your BF has the same feelings about your daughter that you have about his.
Your daughter didn't "pick up bad behaviors". I hear this all the time from parent . It's easier to point the finger at other kids than to accept that your child is a follower and hasn't been taught that your rules/expectations remain the same regardless of what other kids do/get away with.
Is your daughter's father in the picture? If not and your BF has stepped into the daddy role for her, I can understand why SD is upset. It doesn't make her behavior right,but her feelings are valid.
If you want this relationship to work, both girls need to be dealt with. And your BF should make it clear that your daughter is not replacing his daughter.