Lazy SO Lazy Son
My SO works 6 days a week, we have a 3 month old so we dont get much rest. We get his son every other week and all he does is play fortnite. He will play from the moment he wakes up til he has to sleep. I already tried telling my SO to limit his TV time but we live in a small apartment and we dont have much for him to do. With this virus and our 3mo we dont go out much. The second problem is as soon as my SO comes home he falls asleep. So he doesnt care that hes on his playstation all day. But he is becoming overweight, BM took him to the doctors and he is 80lbs & he is very short. I take the baby out on a walk everyday but he refuses to go. He excuse to always be on fortnite was he had nothing to do so we bought him a bike and he has only used it once. I dont know what to do at this point my SO doesnt seem to care, but it bothers me. It only bothers him when his son isnt there and we talk about it but when his son shows up he doesnt do anything to fix the issue.
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How old is the boy? Does BM
How old is the boy? Does BM allow him to play video games all day? And are you watching him all day while SO is working?
If BM is a better parent, then he should be with her, and he can come over when your SO isn't working so he can spend time with him. I never understand why some men want 50/50 custody when they don't really want to be parents - is he just trying to avoid paying child support?
He is 8 year old. & yes she
He is 8 year old. & yes she lets him play all day too. He has told me he only leaves him room to eat, go to the bathroom or go to friends house and play there together. And she still has him paying child support. She has him for a week & 2 days. He comes to us wed - sun.
I read your other post and it
I read your other post and it looks as if your SO has been a lazy parent from the very start - gives in to all the tantrums, won't correct him (he's just a kid and he doesn't know what he's saying...), lets him disrespect you, etc. It's my opinion that your SO has no idea whatsoever of what parenting entails and just wants an easy life. You are never going to get through to him that he's not doing his son any favours. It's often said on this site that you can't care more than the parents ... so why try?
OTOH, you could always try cutting off the electronics and saying "go put your shoes on, kiddo, we're going out!" Make it a statement/order and NOT a question. How about outings to museums, parks, libraries, etc? Who knows, you might just hit on something that he likes.
Playing Fortnite is not a reason to sit on your bum all day and vegetate...
Good luck.
Very true ever since ive came
Very true ever since ive came around his kid runs everything. Ive tried making scheduled activities (ive told him to read to me for 10 minutes) and he cried like i was murdering him. I take him to the park. He will sit next to me and refuses to play. At this point i have really given up on trying with this kid.
Ss issues aside, your husband doesn’t parent much too
so you are the parent 24/7 of your mutual child
my husband works 13 hours and on call 24/7. Leaves for work by 7am and home 9-10pm sometimes after midnight for work events... i told him he doesn’t get to disappear for a whole weekend day to pamper adult and teenage skids (a want) when he has 2 toddlers actively needing him for their development so unless he can spend whole weekend days dedicated to our 2 young kids or on weekdays after work with our kids, there are no disappearing for skid visits especially with me busy at uni and weeekends are where i can catch up most.
some people on steptalk told me to hire a babysitter, right so just reinforce my husband being an absent parent?? Nope I didn’t sign up for that!! He can and should suck it up like i’m expected to do and not bitch about it...
things are much better now but its been a hard journey... when you have 26+ years of crappy attitudes and behaviour, its hard to snap hubby out of it... as far as i am concerned, adult/teenage skids do not get to play the pity me card and make themselves more helpless or important compared to my kids as my kids are not fully independent yet and need me and hubby to help them.
skids (especially the 2 failed adults) should have launched by now!!
Since you're home with him
Since you're home with him then do what you would do if ss was your own kid.
Tell him we're going for a walk let's go. Time to make dinner come help me. Set up a schedule for the day.
If your boyfriend doesn't like it then oh well tell him he can either support you or find someplace for him to go.
My take
I used to take SD14 Munchkin out a lot when she was 8. Now shes a very large Munchkin and doesnt have ANY sorts of activities. EVER. And I mention my concern that shes on her phone without activities, and her response is "so what" in a very rude tone.
So, my take on this is that you cannot care more than the parents and you must disengage on this one. You will be made to be the bad person...and get lots of pushback.
But thats just MY experience.
Yep, same experience here too
Yep, same experience here too. I've never seen 2 more unimaginative, useless, dull children. Ss is on screen time from 7am for the best part of 10 hours at weekends. Sd is on phone/in her room most days especially now with home schooling. They've been like that since I knew them the last 3.5 years. When I've mention it to SO, he says doesn't see it as a problem. But actually I think he knows thats why they have zero manners/common sense/social skills. He just doesn't want to admit it to me or himself. If he doesn't care: why would I bother trying to interest them in doing outings, learning fun things like cooking/painting etc? Not my circus!