So excited
We've been saving a bit every pay check for a trip we want to take with the kids in the spring and I got to book it today.
So excited but slightly annoyed. We know and my mom knows because she's going to join us but we can't tell the kids because of BM.
So it has to stay a secret until we're pretty much in the car and on the way. We just can't trust her not to cause problems. I want to tell them so bad though uggggg.
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You're guaranteed to have
You're guaranteed to have skids that week? Never underestimate a BM's ability to trash plans/ vacations.
As much as we can be which is
As much as we can be which is why the kids aren't being told about it. They will not know until we are in the car leaving for the trip.
She will most likely find out after. Currently we aren't required to tell her anything. Hopefully the CO takes affect soon at which point we still aren't required to tell her.
Is it out of state? If so,
Is it out of state? If so, that's interesting that the other parent doesn't need to be informed. Either way, just keep it a secret and enjoy yourselves!
They're order allows out of
They're order allows out of state trips that are under a certain length because both of them live so close to the boarder.
It's nothing for us to cross the boarder and be back before dark.
Congrats on booking your
Congrats on booking your vacation.
I can tell you saved and saved and saved. AND now finally it feels like "yessss we are going"
Yup, if you have a high conflict x involved you can bet there would be big problems.
You know what? It is a good idea anyway to keep big plans under wrap JUST in case something does come up and you must cancel.
NOT running to BM and telling her is not being dishonest OR not transparent....your being a good parent IN the unlikely event of an emergency cancels the trip. Don't want to upset the kids, right?
What I have seen UP close and personal is the old "do what you want first, apologies later".
Not that I agree with those kind of people but it happens a lot in family court.
Congrats again. I can see your excited
We have actually had it
We have actually had it happen where BM ran and told the kids about a surprise we had planned. Weather didn't cooperate and we changed our plans but then BM bad mouthed us to everyone who listen because we "disappointed" the kids.
That didn't last long when SO showed everyone the pictures of the modified plans along with providing the reason for the change. Not really possible to go to the zoo when it's raining after all and the kids still had a blast. Honestly it was only her that was making it an issue as many of them.
As for not telling her, we don't have to so why run the risk of her doing anything to mess with it as she has shown she will. This is a big trip for us that yes we've been working on for over 6 months. We want to tell them so bad because a large part of it is coming out of Christmas funds. I'm using the money I normally get from family to help pay for it along with us both doing overtime and picking up odd jobs here and there for family and friends.
If anything happens though the place does have options to adjust but we did schedule it during the time we are suppose to happen. I checked, double checked, tripled checked, and have waited till the last moment to book it.
You will learn as you go on,
You will learn as you go on, to not tell the Skids anything of importance. Our motto is the kids are on a "need to know basis" When we go on trips, I will post a packing list (we have 5 kids) the night before and tell them where we are going as we are driving. We didn't even tell them about our wedding until we pulled into the chapel parking lot.
We have avoided more drama this way over the years....
That's exactly where we are.
That's exactly where we are.
We have talked very clearly with the lawyer about what the future CO states my partner must tell her and what we don't.
She gets no information until after the fact.
For example we get the kids for Thanksgiving this year. That's it. That's all she knows. She will find out afterwards we're getting with my family. There's no reason for her to know before hand.
I have ensured this is during his time and we are within the boundaries of the future CO. The kids will find out when we pick them up to leave.
It just sucks because we want to tell them so bad. Oh well. They will still be excited either way. Also with the way BM is she can't sit there bad mouthing and saying we aren't actually going to do it.
Perfect. Every time I have
Perfect. Every time I have slipped up because I was excited about future plans, it came back to bite me and DH by the Skids telling BM and she does something to ruin it, even by bad mouthing the experience to the kids.
One other part is to set us
One other part is to set us apart. BM repeatedly makes the huge promises to the kids. One was over the phone. You could tell from the oldest response she didn't really. Eleive it. There was no excitement or any of that.
Also if BM does know we are doing something she can't stop she'll tell the kids all week that "dad might not come, he might not take you."
It's sick because we have NEVER said something and not followed through. There are times where SO will say "I don't think I will be able to make it." No meaningless promise just honesty.
I've heard the kid ask if we were really going to her game after we had to make a speical trip to pick up her gear because "mommy said we might not.
My response "honey if your dad says he's doing something he will. If there is ever a problem he will call you himself to let you onow. We will never just not show."