When we go to visit SS, we are also visiting MIL (and SIL and BIL who share an apt. w/ MIL) - which hasn't been as bad lately as it has in the past. Maybe she's decided that since I don't play her drama game the way she wants, then she doesn't want to play with me anymore. Which is A-Okay with me!

However, she is a meddler. And poor decision maker. And it's upsetting. And SS8 is exhibiting the same behavior issues he had when I first met him so many years ago because he's already figured out he can get away with murder. And that's also upsetting.

We started out going to breakfast. SS8 literally complains the entire time. First he wasn't hungry. Fine, you don't have to eat; you can get something to drink, but we're going to eat. Then he wasn't thirsty, either. Ok, you can just sit there politely and visit with all of us, but we are hungry and still will be staying to eat. So then, he decides he wants a funny face pancake, after all. It gets here, and it's too big. And it has ears (the cook made it look like a teddy bear), and it isn't supposed to have ears. There are no ears in the picture. MIL cuts it up. No more ears. Now, it's too much food. He can't eat it all. All breakfast is a bitch fest. And who gets in trouble? DD2, of course, because we should expect her to behave like an adult and stay in her seat and not make a mess. *eye roll* DD2 is potty training, and tells me she has to go; her control is pretty well nonexistent, so I get up immediately to take her. SS8 sees me getting up w/ DD2 and suddenly also needs to use the bathroom. So MIL tells him to get up and *doll faced* will take you. I am perturbed. This kid is entirely too old to be in the women's rest room. And DH, of course, doesn't see any of this.

Then, we were all getting ready to go to Sam's club, and SS starts screaming out the car that he wants to go to Wal-Mart. DH, myself, DD11, SS8, and DD2 are in one car; SIL and BIL are in another car. MIL hears SS, she climbs into the driver's seat of the other car, and we all head out w/ MIL leading the way. A few minutes into the drive, DH tells me to call MIL and put her on speaker; he asks where she's going since this isn't the way to Sam's club - or is the very scenic route. Wal-Mart. You know, because the 8 y.o. mentally handicapped kid is obviously the one who should be running the show. What ever. So we get to Wal-Mart and must be the strangest caravan (as that's the only word I can think of to describe how we must have looked) this place has ever seen. DD2 sees and wants to sit in one of those car buggies. SS8 wants to push the buggy. DD11, being lazy and noticing an empty buggy seat, climbs into the buggy next to DD2. I tell her to get out; MIL tells me (and her) that it' ok, she should stay in. SS starts pushing the buggy to . . . ??? He nearly runs into several people to include an elderly person in a wheel chair. DH is getting upset, but being the momma's boy he is, doesn't say anything to MIL. No, instead, he starts to get snappy with me. I just put my hand on his shoulder, look him dead in the eye, and tell him, "Well, you're the Daddy. You can change this if you want." *THEN* he asks his mom why we're here. Well, because SS wanted to come here, of course.

DH: Son, why did you want to come here?
SS: Chocolate *unintelligible*.
DH: Huh? Say it again, son.
SS: Chocolate *unintelligible*.
MIL: Well, lets go to the food side.

We all get over there and get close to the back, and SS keeps repeating what he's already said over and over again. He wants chocolate toaster strudels. He won't be with us for breakfast. And DD2 needs to go to the bathroom again. I pick her up and start to head back to the front of the store when who do I hear loudly proclaiming he also needs to go to the bathroom? SS8. Well, at least I guess he's consistent. SS8 runs to catch up with me. This time, I turn around and tell him to go tell his Daddy that he needs to go. DD11 is with him, too. I tell her to relay the message to DH. I turn back around and continue toward the front of the store. SS will not let go of DD11's hand; he will also not go back to DH. I stop again and ask DD11 where DH is. She tells me he's all the way back there. I walk back to where he is and tell him SS8 needs to go to the bathroom and *he* needs to take him to the men's room. DH takes SS8's hand and they go to the men's rr while DD2 and I go to the women's.

We leave, we run the Sam's club errand, then head back to MIL's for lunch. At this point, I should add that DH had thought it would be a fun idea to take all the kids to see a matinee after lunch - Dispicable Me 2 and Monsters University are both showing. We had informed SS8 of this plan on our way to breakfast that morning shortly after picking him up. He literally bitched all day about *NOT* wanting to see a movie. Over lunch, DH and I decided it would be better to take the two older ones to the zoo while DD2 napped, and then take then all 3 to the bouncy house in the mall. Except that wasn't good enough for MIL.

We head out to the zoo. MIL called DH and I no less than 5 times to tell us that we needed to take SS8 to a movie. DH even went so far as to put MIL on speaker phone with SS8 and let her ask SS8 if he wanted to go to a movie. SS8's exact words, I believe, were, "No! No! No! No! No! No! No!" Not good enough for MIL. We leave the zoo and swing back by her apt. to get DD2, and she tries, yet again, to convince us to take SS8 to the movies. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand, I snapped. I told her no. We were not going to the movies. At this point, no one wanted to go to the movies anymore. SS8 had made it perfectly clear that he didn't want to go. Whenever SS8 doesn't get his way, he makes the event miserable for everyone. DH and I were not going to pay good money to go to a movie and have all of us be miserable b/c SS8 was miserable, not to mention possibly get thrown out because SS8 has no concept of keeping things like that to just us, and will gladly include surrounding movie-goers in his antics. MIL, not liking my answer, takes up her case with DH who just says we'll see.

And then we leave and go to the bouncy house kids play area. Honestly, this place is for smaller children - like six is probably pushing it. But SS8 has a mentality much younger than that, and DD11 has never let age-inappropriate activities stop her from having fun. We pay for an hour, and then DH leaves me to "go pee" for almost half an hour. Yeah. In this time, some other kids show up ranging in age from I'd guess about 12 months (obviously a new walker) to about 3 or 4 years old. SS8 has no regard for these small children, so I'm left trying to watch DD2 for her safety and SS8 for all the other children's safety. DH finally comes back, and I had to explain to him that he doesn't get to sit down and relax. SS8 is running over, jumping on, and otherwise being unsafe around the small kids. DH manages to coral SS8's behavior and attention, but gets all butt hurt that DD2 doesn't want to play with him. Gee, could it be that after SS8 hurting her twice last visit, she's leery of playing with him. DH insists. After all, SS8 likes to push cars around (the little single person red ones with the yellow tops that toddlers push themselves around in), and DD2 likes to ride in the cars. Except, DD2 decides she wants to get out and SS8 decides it's not time for her to get out. And while she's half in/half out, SS8 tries to push her back in and close the door on her and smashes her fingers. No punishment for SS8. Not even a talking to. I have to take DD2 out because she's screaming bloody murder while SS8 just goes and jumps into another bouncy house and onto a small kid. And yeah, I had to point that out to DH as I was walking out with DD2.

I try very hard to be patient with SS due to his issues, but it gets difficult when the adults around him are, consciously our not, encouraging him to act up. And MIL is a prime offender in this. I get the impression that DH feels like he has to take MIL's crap b/c she is kind enough to let us spend the night there. Add to that the fact that DH really wants to believe SS does no wrong, and out makes these visits pretty unbearable. Oh, and the 6 - 7 hour drive each way with a toddler.

I'll be moving (again, bleh) for school in the first part of next month, so I'll only be around for one more of these trips, but honestly, I'm working on a good excuse not to go.