Is what I said really that bad - Advice please
OK to give you all some background, I pick up the skids on a Wednesday from school when their after school clubs have finished. Well yesterday the clubs were not on so I picked them up from their BMs SO house as this is where they live when with BM.
Anyway BM own mother had been ill for some time and we knew she had taken a turn for the worse and she passed away on Monday morning. Now her mother lives about 2.5 hours away so it was going to be a strain on her to sort everything out.
Me and BM haven’t been getting on that well lately but I done what I felt was the decent thing and told her I was sorry to hear about her mother and asked her how she was. She told me she was coping and that she was OK.
This is the part I need help with.... I said to BM that if she needed any extra help with the kids she knew where we (me and their dad) were all she had to do was contact us if she needed any help. Well anyone would have thought I had asked for her head on a plate from the tone of her answer. I was told in no uncertain terms that she did not need my help and that HER children were ok. I was a bit floored as I made the offer to try and help her out in what only can be a very difficult time for her. My reply was that the offer was there if she needed any help just to give me a ring and with that I left with the Skids.
Did I do the wrong thing or over step? My offer was a genuine one of help nothing more nothing less. Please try to help me understand what was so bad about my offer?????
:?
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Comments
Idiots are exposed even more
Idiots are exposed even more when they are put under emotional stress. Were she not an idiot, her response would have been more appropriate.
You can't fix stupid so don't even try or worry about it.
Good for you for being a decent person, expressing your condolences and offering to help. What you offered and how you did it was not bad or inappropriate in any way IMHO.
The poetic justice in this situation is that BMs mother saw BMs inappropriate response. }:)
No doubt you are absolutely
No doubt you are absolutely correct. I have lost a loved ones including a younger brother and understand the emotional strain it can cause. However, being shitty to someone who offers support and condolences is wrong regardless of the pain and freshness of the loss.
IMHO of course.
We let it go when moms to be
We let it go when moms to be say/do rude things. I would do the same for someone dealing with the lost of a loved one.
I think you did the right
I think you did the right thing. You were treating her as a respectable human being.
When our BM's hubby was dying I went through my hubby to reach out to her. I had him ask her if she wanted us to take the kids for the week while all this was happening. She said yes to him and I took care of the children. Now...if I had asked, I would have gotten the same response as you did.
You did the right thing, you
You did the right thing, you are not responsible for how someone reacts to it.
They are.
Congrats to you trying to be supportive to someone who isn't supportive of you.
This is called character.
All you can do is offer the
All you can do is offer the help. She doesn't have to take it. But, at least you offered. Good for you.
You absolutely did the right
You absolutely did the right thing!! When my own mother passed away my kids SM stepped up and helped me so much. She organized the luncheon for after the service she helped with the kids she was a godsend for me at that time. She cared about my mom and my mom cared for her. In going through some of my moms things I found cards that the she had sent my mom with pics of the kids. It was of trips that they took with SM and their father or Christmas or Easter. I thought that was very kind of her to do.