Weird conversation~ Big backslide~ Do the BF's sometimes believe their own bad press?
SO had a weird conversation with me a couple of nights ago. Told me, he really just doesn't want to be a father most days. Went on to tell me that he's tired of being being made to feel worthless unless he becomes 'the wallet.' Then he said, 'they're obviously right about me being a bad father. They never want to spend time with me when it's just hanging out talking or doing stuff around the house. It must be that I'm a bad father, if I wasn't, they'd want to be with me more often.'
This morning he calls to tell me that he's scheduled a 'daddy-date' with his adult D this weekend. Shopping @ the mall, a movie, and dinner. WTF??????? I ask why and he tells me that he hasn't been spending any time with her. DUH..... that's HER choice! Here it is.... the BACKSLIDE from HELL.
He goes on to say, 'well she doesn't have much of a life, she stays in the house while her BM, SF, and brother are out most of the day.' Like he's trying to give me some excuse for backsliding in to guilty daddy territory, AGAIN!
Good Lord, the girl is an ADULT. SHE is the one who refuses to grow up. She won't get a job b/c she's disabled ( :sick: ) She won't stay in any therapy program b/c it's 'too hard.' She won't volunteer anywhere b/c... well, she's a taker and takers NEVER give anything back! She keeps talking about getting her drivers license but.... they don't give licenses to CRAZY people. Excuse me... don't want to sound totally heartless here... they will not issue a DL to anyone with a history of mental health problems. Is that PC enough?? Still, no one will bother to take the time to tell her this b/c it might hurt her wittle feelings. OMG! :sick: Like she doesn't use her dx as an excuse for EVERYTHING when it's convenient for her. (Shakes head rigorously :? )
I give up! 
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I'll definitely take a look
I'll definitely take a look at this. Thanks for the suggestion.
For the record, I personally don't push him one way or the other. Primarily b/c I could really care less. I'm basically a sounding board, period. I already know that these kids are a lost cause due to all the bad parenting and PASing that has gone on waaayyy before I met him. However, to say that the situation is less than frustrating to watch from the sidelines is an UNDERstatement, lol.
Whatever these kids views may be (erratic/unreliable) has not a thing to do with me. I refuse to own that which is not mine. I also refuse to let the little snots in to my life on THEIR terms. I know, I know, that makes me sound harsh and cold. I am far from either. I absolutely refuse to become their whipping post. They (psycho BM and kids) already ran 1 woman off before me. Then again, SO let them so... his fault.
"It also addresses some cases
"It also addresses some cases where they may have SO who are trying to push them in one direction or another and this does more damage to the relationship, because the child views the actions as erratic or unreliable."
That is NOT what is said in that video. You're sounding an awful lot like a BM with an ax to grind.