Today I was doing laundry and I noticed that a laundry basket that I'd thought was empty had what looked like some of my husband's socks in it. Since I was washing whites I decided to wash them too. I'm carefully going through making sure they're not folded together and I see something gray and still looking in the bottom. It was my ss's gross disgusting underwear. I mean these things could stand up they were so stiff and matted together. No way am I washing those. I'm literally sick to my stomach now. As soon as I can get a chance to throw those filthy things away they're history.

I wanted to add that I spent the first night at my moms with the baby and the second night I had to come home while ss11 was still here last weekend. After being home an hour my bil shows up and dh stays outside with him. I noticed ss11 was hid in the babies room since dh was outside then when I tried to send a text the internet was way slow which means ss is downloading another game so I unplug the router and within three minutes step son is wandering around and actually comes outside. But this causes him to follow me around even more. Of course dh is still outside talking to his brother.

I read a blog today about skids making you sick and I think that it's true. About two years ago I would start to have panic attacks when I knew ss11 was coming or when he'd just show up. I hadn't had one since my first husband's dad was killed 14+ years ago. My chest would hurt as soon as I seen the car slowing down. I did this for a few months straight. I disengaged some and the panic attacks went away some. I still have them but not as much. For the last month I started waking up sore. I felt like I'd been in a car wreck. My muscles are all so tense and I noticed I was exhausted.

Just wanted to rant about this weekend and the unannounced visit. Dh and I are sitting outside and we see someone walking down the road towards our home. We go inside bc neither of us felt like entertaining company. Of course it was ss11 coming for his unannounced visit. The last time he did this he was dropped off at our door at midnight. Two days before I was to go in for my scheduled c section. We both spoke with him together and told him this has to stop. From now on you are to contact your father and make sure that it's ok to stay.