You are here

Being less accommodating....works for me!

dgb's picture

So some of you may recall that my SO,his son20 and daughter16, moved out two weekends ago. Yea!!! I have been invited twice now to go see the new apartment, but still am declining. SO went out and bought all new furniture for the apartment and everything else that went in it. Every day all I get is an update on what they went and bought and how helpful son and daughter have been to help get everything done. SO wanted me to go with him Sunday to look at bedroom furniture that would 'eventually be in our bedroom'. I can say that I was less than enthusiastic.

Yesterday was SO's first day back in the gym. Normally I wait until he is coming home from work and meet him there at 5:45. Yesterday, however, after I left school I went to run an errand and then went to the gym. I knew what workout he was doing, so I just went ahead and did it. I REALLY didn't want to have to run into his daughter and have to deal with her guarding her dad and being huggie and fakey sweet. By the time he got there I only had cardio left to do. Cardio is in a theatre where a movie is playing to keep your mind off how much you are dying! Brother had to go pick sis up to come to the gym (another 40 min of driving). God forbid princess not get her way! While I did my 40 minutes of cardio SO did his weight training. He came in where I was at least six times. By the time I finished, he finished. I passed sis on my way to the locker room but looked past her as if she didn't exist. After washing up, I left the locker room and who do you think was standing right beside her daddy all hugged up on him while he talked to someone? Yep! I walked past and went to sit down. She clearly saw me. SO walked over and gave me a kiss and we left. Son came over and talked to me while sis wasn't around. I feel so childish having to ignore this stupid little B----! But, I will be going at the same time again today too. If he wants to see me he can leave when I do. From now on, I'm on my OWN SCHEDULE!!!

Comments

Thiskidwilldrivemecrazy's picture

Good for you! Until recently, I used to set aside some of the things I wanted to do because I wanted to be home with 'the family'. Now that SS12 has such a crappy attitude with me, not only do I not want to be around him, it's also going to take a toll on my boyfriend. BD and I are doing more things without them and boyfriend is feeling the pain of it. So be it...until he decides to hold his son accountable for being disrespectable, then I don't want to be around the kid and I will do my own thing. Kudos to you for it as well!

dgb's picture

It's the only way of getting the message across that, "Excuse me!" "I am important too and will be treated as a priority or I'm gone!" Last night he said,"I love you." I replied likewise. He questioned me and asked,"Sure about that?" I asked,"Why? Are you not?" He said,"Yes, I'm sure. I just needed to hear it." From that conversation and the number of times he came in while I was doing cardio, I gather he's getting the message that he'd better start paying attention. Ha!

3familiesIn1's picture

AGREE with this totally.

Your SO 'thought' you couldn't live without him. The more you show him that he is a CHOICE not a need to survive only he will scramble.

He is realizing that you don't need him - you were choosing to have him in your life - and that means you can choose to NOT have him in your life. That changes the stakes.

There is a possibility that if he doesn't snap to it and start being a father and getting his kids in line that you may CHOOSE to move on without him.

His comfort level isn't as it was before.

I'd refuse to see the apartment at this point too - it almost seems like he wants to rub your nose in 'what you are missing'. Screw that. Smile

dgb's picture

He's hooked! I asked him if he loved me and his reply was, "Yeah! Have you seen how good you've been looking lately?!" My response was,"Yeah, and so have your buddies at the gym!" We were both joking, but I told him I know my mind is just as beautiful!

dgb's picture

I've told him more than once when he starts talking about money that I'm not for sale and if that's how he plans on getting and keeping me, then he better come up with a different plan!