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debisdone's picture

Submitted by debisdone on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 7:02pm

Hi All, I have been lurkiing for over a year now. I used all of your experiences and wisdom to get out of a bad situation. You all made me realize that my feelings were normal and I didn't need to take it anymore. Thank you for that.

I left my DH in July and after 5 months of his being a total JERK, he came crawling back and we are now dating. I'm not sure if we will get back together, but I'm hoping that he is now ready to make the changes he needs to. Why are we always willing to forgive and hope? One of those big changes is his guilt parenting. SS is 17 and when I came into the picture he was getting bad grades and was allowed to do as he pleases. He really isn't a bad kid but his parents never put limitations on him. My BS's couldn't stand SS, for the longest time, because everything had to be about him. SS would interrupt conversations and change the subject to him. It didn't matter what we were talking about. His parents thought that it was perfectly fine for SS to be included in adult conversations because he could hold his own. Well of course he could, because he would change the subject to himself and his parents would let him. I broke him of that habit but I had to get rude to do it. SS is also very lazy (typical teen age boy)and he learned that from his beyond messy parents. That was changed but it is still a huge struggle. Now that I am no longer living there, I can just imagine what the house looks like! DH admits that he has once again let all of the mail pile up on the dining room table as well as letting food rot in the refrigerator.

There is so much to tell and so little time.

Comments

juniper23's picture

Submitted by juniper23 on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 7:16pm

How did you finally decide to leave? How hard was that? I am currently separated, but still living in the same house. It is not a fun life and every other day he tells me how much he wants to be with me and every other day he's a jerk. Sometimes I feel like I should stay, but I am pretty sure the right thing to do is to leave. So just curious, what did it for you?

imagr8tma's picture

Submitted by imagr8tma on Thu, 02/26/2009 - 8:45pm

Hopefully, the stress will be left behind and you will continue to move forward.

stepmom2one's picture

Submitted by stepmom2one on Fri, 02/27/2009 - 1:19am

that you had the strength and courage to get out on your own again. I think many of us wish we could, I know I do(most of the time).

It is great that you are dating againa nd trying to work things out, this is exactly what I would like to do with my H. However, I feel like if I leave and take our sons (2nd due soon) with me that he would never forgive me. But I could not leave either of them with him full time, I love them to much.

I wish you the best of luck, it is good that things are a wreck at his house, he can remember what it was like without you and remember why he needs to treat you better.