I've just got to get this off of my chest!
I know that this is a relatively inconsequential matter that I'm about to talk about, but it's the talking about it that makes me feel better, so here goes:
Mic called about afternoon visitation with ss yesterday. He was informed by BM that ss was home from school sick (which actually sounded right this time, as he had been coughing the day before on the phone). But after last weekend, Mic said that he was picking him up anyway. She said fine. So he does. Come to find out, he had stayed home from school, but she let him go out and play in the snow! I think she is trying to make sure he is still sick for when he comes over on Friday. Apparently, we played right in to it. So ss was coughing from the time we picked him up to the time we dropped him off, and complained before dinner that he was getting a headache. So my mom is an RN, we doublechecked with her and gave him 200 mg of Ibuprofen. We even asked him when the last time was he took medicine, so it wouldn't react or anything like that. He said he hadn't had any since that morning. We ate dinner, did a little planning for his birthday party, and took him to the drop off. She had him call about 20 minutes later, then got on the phone (and I hate when she does that...if she feels like he should be able to talk to Mic, why not just call...why does she always have to put ss in the middle?). How she even found out that we gave him medicine without having interrogated him, I am not sure, but she did. She tried to be as nice as she could about it (and by that I mean she was able to do it without yelling and screaming and telling Mic that he's the worst father in the world, for once). However, she informed us that we are to call before we give him anything from now on, as she could not give him his medicine on account of what we gave him. So now, she explained, he would be up all night coughing. I guess the only medicine she has in the house is cold medicine and whatever it is, it apparently had Ibuprofen in it. Why she couldn't have given us a heads up about that in the first place, I don't know. Why the only medicine she has for him is loaded with ibuprofen, I don't know. It seems to me like if she is so concerned about overloading his liver, she wouldn't be giving him cold medicine with ibuprofen in it, when he had neither a cold nor a headache (at least until he got to our house). And, finally, it seems to me like if she were so concerned with getting him better, he wouldn't have been home from school sick, playing in the snow (and in snow boots that were to small, no less)! It never fails to amaze me how she can do whatever she wants (which never makes any sense anyway), and we do the best we can, and it's always wrong. I guess I should be thankful that she didn't throw a big fit about it, and that she was willing to tell us civilly, for once. But I'm not. I'm thoroughly annoyed.
By the way, can I just say that I'm pretty sure he got sick over the weekend (as it set in Tuesday night), when he was supposed to be home "sick". I'm pretty sure she sent him on a Boy Scout campout with her dad and brother. It had been warm during the day over the weekend, but it was still close to freezing at night.
That's all okay, though. I almost hope that he's still sick on Friday. She tried to say that we couldn't have him this weekend (to make up for last weekend) because he's going to a sleepover birthday party Saturday night (for a kid that's more than three years older than him!), and if he's still sick, he's not going. Then, at least, he'll actually get some quality time with his dad. Sure, it's not playing catch and all that, but it actually works out better. Poor kid, always stuck in the middle. I do hope he feels better---maybe we'll pull a BM and just say he's sick. That sounds like a plan!
Like I said, it doesn't change the course of fate or anything, I was just irked about and had to vent.
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Comments
It's all about control
See it for what it is. Control. You move left, you should have moved right.
It took me awhile, But I finally got through to BF about her controlling ways and the dambed if you do, dambed if you don't. My BF trys so hard to play nice and more than half the time it's gets him nowhere.
In your case though, I would also watch out for that Munchhouser by Proxy syndrome.
Hang in there. Jo
I think that her logic is a little off....
I am not sure of why she would be concerned about you giving the child Ibuprofen. It takes a lot of this medication to impact the liver. Giving the cold medication with the ibuprofen would not be the end of the world....it isn't about the medication, just the control. Don't sweat it.
You're right Jo (no big surprise!)
We stopped being nice. No sense in catering to her. Most people to that to get a positive response from ex, but Mic's ex doesn't have a positive bone in her body. As for the Maunchouser By Proxy, he was definitely sick this time, and I think she just wants him to stay so long enough to miss visitation. God forbid she take him to a doctor! However, he is usually in good health. It worked last weekend (she still doesn't know that we know she lied about the whole thing!) so she thought it still would. A wise man once told me that you can judge a person's intelligence by how smart they think you are. I guess that makes her braindead.
I'm actually more concerned with the symptoms of NPD she displays. I've been trying to figure out how to have the court order a psychological evaluation for her without sounding totally spiteful. As for now, we are waiting for ss to have his (already court ordered due to her behavior), and hoping that he'll say something that the judge sees cause to order one for her. That's all we can do for now.
What's NPD ?
Jo
Really ?
That sounds like darkness. That sound like BM's in general.