We have two soon to be teenagers and they both have recently started causing problems with BM by lying to both us and then them. SD11 and SD12 both tell SO one thing and then their BM another.

SD12 recently was with us and SO asked her if she wanted to go home to BM (eary) SD12 said she didn't want to go, Then to find out today that she told BM that she told SO that she wanted to go home. BM has set up a meeting with SO and SD12 and BM tonight to deal with the issues. BM said that she is telling everyone what she thinks they want to hear. SD12 has told BM that she doesn't want to come and see SO for the 4th but won't say why. SO will go there tonight to see what is up with the issue. I personally think it's because BM threatened to call the Cops on SO last time because she wasn't getting her way and SD12 doesn't want ther parents to fight and is tired of being put in the middle. SO tries hard not to put his kids in the middle but when you have parents that don't live together there really isn't much of a way to not "choose" between parents without feeling you have to 'choose'. BM and SO want to give SD12 some freedome to choose her own scheduel and what she wants to do but I wonder if it's not causing more problems in the long run. SD12 also I think feels like her mom treats her more like a "friend" then a child. she tells her things a child should not hear. She said that "they are bestfriends and tell each other everything" This is not right either but there is not a lot that SO or I can do about that.

SD12 plays stupid a lot of time when SO asks her about things. For example when they have moved and moved again. SO asked her what school she was going to be going to, knowing already that her address had been changed and school choice made and gave SD12 the oportunity to come clean she continued to lie to SO because she 'though' that was what BM wanted her to do. She also was asked about her recent move and when she was moving, she said she didn't know, well then come to find out that she was already living in our home town for 3 weeks. I don't even know what to do with her or BM. She tells SD12 things and then I think makes it seem like it has to be a secreat that is kept from SO.

As far as SD11 goes, we have NEVER had ANY problems from her BM. NEVER. SO and BM get along great and have never had any problems with SD11 or BM becase they all know that the goal is "best interest for SD11". SO gets a text message saying something along the lines of " I will stop being so nice to you and how dare you do this to me, we can go to a set schedule if your going to do this to me" SO and I both were like WTF. Come to find out that SD11 told her BM that WE both were trying to get her to come and live with us full time. NOT true. SD12 has recently moved to our home town. three miles from our house. and SD11 Has been asking to live with us for over 2 years now and we have always told her that she would miss her BM too much and her other sister and brother that live with BM. Told her it would be like a never ending summer (we have her most the summers due to sports) She always agreed that she would miss her and them and dropped the idea. She had a written a "goals for life" and when she turned 12 she wanted a phone when she turned 13 she wanted reall UGG boots and when she turned 14 she wanted to live with her dad and so on. She has also told BM that she wanted to come live with her dad but it sounds mostly during fights or when she didn't get her way.

Since SD12 moved her SD11 has been talking about them going to the same school. SD11 lives about 20 min away from our school district. We had talked to the kids about what was offered in our schools when they get to high school. This got brought up when asking them what classes were offered in their middle schools and them asking us what classes we took. There is a much BIGGER difference from going to a small school where they don't have as many options for EXTRA type classes. They got to choose from health or chorus. That was the two choices. We told them we had second language (SD11 loves spanish and wants to take it so bad) sewing classes, cooking classes, computer, shop, art and so on. They both were like WOW. and we talked about the trips we went on when we were in highschool as well for band and chorus. We were not trying to "talk up" our town by any means simply talking about our schooling. SD11 asked if she could go to school here too. We told her that when she got old enough we would talk to BM about open enrollment and getting her a car to drive here. We told her we would not promise anything and tha was a long way down the road.

SD11 went and told BM basiclly that we are going to let her move into our house when she turns 14 and she would go to school here and have all this and that. I don't know what brought this on but that was not how it happened. I don't know if these kids are trying to set their parents against each other or what is going on. We have never had this much problems with the children then we have now. I know that their age has something to do with it but what are we to do about this.

Also if there are any haters out there. Please don't comment on this post. I know you know who you are and I am sensative to the comments posted on here. I feel it's a personal attack agains me and my SO. We are trying to do our best raising these kids together and don't always get it right but what parent does? We were never trying to 'talk up' or convince them to live here. We both feel that their BM are able to provide for them just fine.