lazy
Last weekend when skids were over ss15 and ss17 now drive to our house on their own instead of us having to pick them up at bms house. SS15 never rolls his window up on the passenger side of ss17's truck. DH and i were outside with my dog playing and he realized windows were down so he rolled them up since it was supposed to rain. When we went inside he reminded them that they need to roll windows up when they get here incase it would rain. This morning as I was out with my dog i realized that yet again their windows were down and it had rained last night. I told DH that he would probably have wet seats. DH agreed that maybe this would teach him. I wrote a note to ss17 -still sleeping when i left for work- that his windows were down and that it had rained. i left some crappy towels out for him to use to help soak up seats if they were damp. I left for work and it started downpoaring again. i called ss17 to wake his ass up to go roll up windows, no answer. an hour later i tried as it was raining yet again, still no answer. i figured whatever - too lazy to get up/answer phone deal with it. I talked to DH over lunch when he was home with his kids and said that kids were mad i went to the trouble of writing notes and finding towels but couldn't just roll up the windows. DH agreed that i did the nice thing of going to all the effort but it was their responsibility and the kids still hadn't been out to check to see if it was wet or roll up the windows. lazy little brats.
I thought about giving them things to do - dishes, vacuum, little things they're capable of but then decided against it as i know that it won't be up to my standards and i'm really not sure i want to eat off of dishes that they would wash...is it easier to just be pissed about having to do all the housework but knowing it's right instead of having it done wrong and redoing it and still being mad??
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you should have rolled up the
you should have rolled up the windows
i figured that wet seats and
i figured that wet seats and that stinky scent would be the best reminder to never do that again.
the damage was done and with
the damage was done and with the windows closed after the fact they would remain wet and stinky - same affect that you were going for but you would have taken the high road and did the adult thing by putting the windows up
I wouldn't have rolled up the
I wouldn't have rolled up the windows either. You told them to, they chose to ignore you and be lazy, let them deal with the consequences.
Also, I'll give you a quote from Flylady.net (it helps with home organization) "Even housework done imperfectly still blesses your family."
I say that to myself constantly when the skids do housework.
so i basically just need to
so i basically just need to learn how to chill out?? I just wonder how much of the skids situation could be less stressful if i would just let it not bother me but i haven't learned how to do that yet. i think i cause my own stress when they're around but have no idea how to just let it go.
It's the wonderful art of
It's the wonderful art of disengaging. There are numerous posts about it. And one user I know of, vickmeister has mastered it I believe.
I've never done it personally, not to any significant degree, but from what I've read with teen skids around, it has saved many a marriage.
DH never wants to give them
DH never wants to give them chores. I want to give them chores so they do get up and do something helpful/productive, but then I wonder if it's just a waste of time. I call my DH the disneyland dad because it's always happy time when the kids come to see him. never any reality about having to be in the real world or have any responsibilities.
17 years old and he can't be
17 years old and he can't be bothered to be responsible for rolling up the windows on his own vehicle?! I would have done the same thing you did. Maybe he shouldn't even have a vehicle!
I wouldn't have rolled up the
I wouldn't have rolled up the windows especially since you told them, but I also would have not left the note, towels or bothered to call. I have a rule, if I told you once think of it as me telling you 3 times, because I won't waste my energy on helping after I already tried! Cause and effect! Kids need to learn consequences for the actions or lack of.
we did it for them last time
we did it for them last time and obviously it didn't get through because it happened this time except we didn't catch it prior to the rain. if i had caught it the night before it rained i would have told them to go roll the windows up themselves. I doubt some nice citizen is going to be out for a walk and notice windows down adn roll them up for ss17 next year when he's at college and DH isnt' there to take care of him, it just doesn't happen.
I wouldn't have rolled them
I wouldn't have rolled them up either. SKid or Not - you live and your learn. It's happened to all of us at one point or another.
I wouldn't have rolled up the
I wouldn't have rolled up the window, left a note or towels. They were warned when they first got there. Kids have got to learn there is consequence for every action!! We can't always go around doing everything for them because if we do they will never learn to fend for themselves!!
I wouldn't have rolled up the
I wouldn't have rolled up the windows especially since you told them, but I also would have not left the note, towels or bothered to call.
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Exactly. I probably would have rolled it up one time and then if they did not roll it up the next time, they would be on thier own. But I would not have left a note or anything.
I definitely would have
I definitely would have rolled the windows up. But for totally selfish reasons. I wouldn't want to deal with the mess of wet towels.
Same reason that I constantly clean up after all the kids. And my bios are as bad if not worse than my steps. I can't stand a mess. I would rather clean it up myself than wait for kids to do a half-ass job.
by the time i realized the
by the time i realized the windows were down it had already rained during the night/early morning. I didn't realize it was going to rain more, but I still wouldn't have rolled them up. I told them before about windows being down, don't listen to me - i dont care - i'm trying to help you. Now you can deal with it.
Depends on who bought or is
Depends on who bought or is paying for the car. If dh is then I would've felt like it was partly my car and would've rolled them up but told them later that you did it and talk to them about responsibility. If bm or skids paid for car then oh well. I would've let it rain on their seats for days so they'd learn a lesson on responsibility. Now when they ask dad for money on replacing their car in the future or for money to fix it up because they can't take care of it on the first place, then dh can say no because he tried to teach them how to take care of it in the first place and they didn't learn.
DH and BM split the initial
DH and BM split the initial cost of it. I had some body damage that DH took care of fixing and BM licensed and insures it. SS17 was 500 miles over his last oil change because he didn't know what the sticker was for....seriously. I have heard DH tell ss17 that he needed to let him know when he got close to that number so that they could schedule an oil change. Dh asked ss17 one night how close he was and he gave him the deer in headlights look. ss17 is a nice kid, but dumber than a box of rocks because he has no real world experience. he spends all his time on the computer, playing with his legos - yes i said legos at 17 years old, or on his ipod playing games. he has no desire to know how to fix a tire or do anything. he took auto mechanics to make DH happy but didn't learn a thing. he's gotten lost going from bm's to our house which is only about 30 minutes apart with only a few roads, he had his gps helping him get home by himself and he took an exit that took him SOUTH instead of NORTH. he's been making this trip for 10 years with bm/DH for weekend visits and he's evidently never paid attention, now ss15 can tell you how to get anywhere you want to go. that kid has street smarts - i will give him credit for that.
I wouldn't have rolled them
I wouldn't have rolled them up either they have nothing to be mad at you for: how are they going to learn responsibility if no one makes them accountable
I wouldn't have rolled them
I wouldn't have rolled them up either! You told them once. It's called choices and consequences for the wrong choices... Live and Learn... Tough Love...whatever you want to call it.
Why run around after them and fix and mend what they chose to ignore!
Kids are kids, and Im sorry,
Kids are kids, and Im sorry, everyone--but the majority of boys are just stupid. They just don't think. I don't know if I would have rolled the windows up. Probably had I noticed it. I would not have left a note or a towel...as long as I didnt have to sit in it or smell that moldy carpet smell I honestly would not care. We bought our SS20 his first vehicle, and it was a gift so it was his. He could treat it like he wanted. However, it was known that no more after that. The inside was like his nasty baseball bag. Nasty, smelly and gross. lol. Any nagging was not going to change that.
I wouldn't have rolled them
I wouldn't have rolled them up either, but also wouldn't have bothered with a note or towels because that makes it look like you obviously had the time to be the bigger person. I would have put the old towels on top of the stack of towels but not brought it to their attention. I see nothing wrong with natural consequences. If SDs don't do a good job of folding and putting away their clothes, then they get to wear wrinkled clothes to school. I won't be ironing them. I bet he will never leave his windows down again though
I would not roll up the
I would not roll up the windows either, it is ridiculous that they are blaming you for any part of this? I hope a cat gets in there and sprays, that is what taught me to roll up my windows lol!