drawings...
i was installing a new wireless device for my laptop. all the main computer stuff is in ss17's room. his computer is shot with viruses and what not so i was using my laptop to get the wireless working. had to actually use the main internet connection before making wireless.
i needed a piece of paper to write down the codes to allow our other computer on the network. ss17 had a notebook on his desk so i went through it looking for a piece of paper. he had some sketches in it - whatever. still flipping through it i come to drawings of naked females - there's tons of these and some other random pics, there's one of a girl legs wide open with all the anatomy...further in there's a naked chick with a penis. i'm in disbelief looking through this. i get done and there's a few empty pieces in the back. i write down my codes and dh walks in to see what i'm doing in ss's room. i show him the notebook and tell him to go through it. he flips through a few pages and sets it down (he hadn't got to the interesting stuff yet) so i flipped through it to show him. he's now pissed at me for going through the notebook. i was looking for a blank piece of paper...i didn't know i would find that stuff.
i guess my reason for showing him was i thought it was weird...dh says he's 17 that's what boys do...really??
i'm kinda weirded out to see the kid tomorrow....in my eyes the kids don't have penises and they don't know how to use them!! don't even want to think that way of them.
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I can see how it would be
I can see how it would be weird, but DM, when I was 17, my (also 17yo) boyfriend and I were like rabbits - getting it on wherever we could. I think drawings are pretty tame; I'd be more pissed about the viruses, especially if he was getting them from porn sites. If you're networking the computers (or even via the router, although I'm not sure if it works that way) he's putting all of your systems at risk.
Sorry to say, but you were the one snooping, even if it was innocently. It's on you to act as normally as you can.
i didn't say "weird" as in
i didn't say "weird" as in odd. i said "weirded out - as in i now see something more adult in this child to be doing this stuff. i'm not putting the kid down.
i'm not this childs parent so to me it's like finding out my nephew is doing this stuff. it's just the fact that when i met them they were younger and i'm not ready for the realization that they're growing up and doing/learning this stuff. yes i know it happens, it's just new.
there was something in your
there was something in your comment that stuck and pissed me off. in no way in this post am i attacking the kid for his drawings - i just said THEY (THE DRAWINGS) weirded me out, never once did i call him weird. it seems you just like to attack people.
he's into some army game
he's into some army game thing where you connect with a ton of other people. he's taken it to his stepdad (computer geek) to have it fixed and there was porn also - BM flipped her lid about that one, called DH to tell him and again his reaction - he's a boy....
oh i agree with the rabbits comment, it's just the fact that i'm not ready to think of them as adults and being active.
as far as the viruses - i have protection on my computer against stuff - the computer the skids leave is up to them to upkeep. i will not be paying money for them. DH knows the deal and he has never used an antivirus program before.
oh i know i'll have to act normal around the kid. i found the stuff on accident, but ick.
DH just has such a "no big deal" attitude about everything i'm wondering what it will take for him to actually do something one of these days...
Maybe I am
Maybe I am super-permissive...
He's not drinking, drugging, or stealing. (that you've said) He's not dating a 13 yr old. (icky, and close to illegal, IMO) He's not drag-racing in town. His grades are okay. (I looked through your blogs and didn't find much about SS17, although you did say recently that you preferred him to his brother.)
Like your DH, I kinda think anything else, as long as it isn't dangerous, disrespectful, or completely lacking in morals, (And I include an entitled attitude in that one) is no big deal.
no, he's not and you're
no, he's not and you're right...
i just need to realize that he's a boy and they do this..just not something i was prepared would make me step back and go huh...
"conditioner use"....
"conditioner use".... BWAHAHAHAHA! Love it!
I don't see anything abnormal about either putting thought into whether a stepson is sexually active (something any parent has concerns about), nor being somewhat uncomfortable with the topic (since he is not a bio-son).
We are having a ton of issues with SS16, due to which we are monitoring his online activity. I came across a quote that said he has "two urges so strong" - first, to get a hand job or a blow job, and second to fight someone.
I thought the first was basically normal. It's the second that's more of a concern right now.
This isn't an easy area for stepmothers and stepsons.
L
It would weird me out as
It would weird me out as well.
Yeah I dont think its a big
Yeah I dont think its a big deal. I can remember 17 year old boys who would think that was the funniest thing they ever saw.
He's normal. Don't worry
He's normal. Don't worry about it.
i guess he is a teenager and
i guess he is a teenager and if the drawing's the worse he does in my house...so be it.
thanks for setting me straight everyone. never head to deal with boys before - my family is all girls
Okay the one thing that would
Okay the one thing that would weird me out is the naked chick with a penis - DM - I know how you will feel about facing him - when SS came to visit this year - DH sat me down and said that before I go down in the basement to my office I needed to make sure that SS knew I was coming down the steps - ick - he is 16 I just don't want to think of him doing anything that needs to be stopped before I enter the basement - also when we went to our Condo for a week he did spend an awful lot of time in his bedroom - I guess they are growing up - lol
ugh - i dont want to think of
ugh - i dont want to think of either one of them doing that stuff!!! HAHA All ss15 does is retreat to his room to play video games once he gets here, i never even go back to his room. i've moved all my clothes out of the closet so there would be no reason to go in there.
i didn't think that i'd have to go through this stuff i guess. i never planned on having kids and now i have 2 teenagers. when they bring girlfriends to eat with us or to a sporting event we may be attending and they're holding hands and kissing i want to stop ss15 and ask if he's brushed his teeth or if he has clean clothes on...this kid doesn't even match up his socks!!! in my eyes he's a long way from being mature enough for a girlfriend - but what do i know....
he will be the one of the two to get in trouble.