Why can't my DH parent?? and why is BM1 spawn in my fracking house?
Last night I get home from work and he tells me that the back door to the 4-Runner, that SD has been driving for the past week since she got her DL is broken. I thought he meant like back passenger door, so I said "so? So what if it won't lock?" He says, because it won't stay shut and that he is talking about the rear hatch or whatever you call it. He said he was annoyed with her because she's only had it a week and is fucking things up. He said he told her to bring it to our house so he could look at it, but that was 2 hours ago.
So I guess he called her to see what she was doing and she said she had her sister with her (one of BM1's illegitimates) that apparently they were cleaning out the 4-Runner and sister tried to open the back door and did something and it wouldn't shut. Now I'm mother fucking pissed. According to DH he told her that she was allowed to drive OUR fucking vehicle from work to MILs or our house and that was it. But of course, she doesn't listen to a fucking word he says and she's apparently off at BMs and who knows where else. Conversation with DH as follows:
Daizy: I thought you told her she was only to be driving to work and home and not carting people around?
Dumb Ass: Yes, I did tell her that
Daizy: Right, but she just ignores you and does as she pleases. When she has her own insurance on the vehicle then she can do whatever she wants but right now she's driving on our insurance
Dumb Ass: Well I don't know how to do that, because she's not sure she wants the 4-Runner now, she thinks she might wait and buy something when she gets back to University state. What do you want me to do? Why don't you talk to her, you take the keys away.
Daizy: LMFAO! Like she gives AF what I say??! She doesn't even give AF what YOU say!
Dumb Ass: Don't start, I don't want to get into it. I wish she just would have gone back to University state with her stupid BF so I could be done dealing with this crap. What did you do when you were her age?
Daizy: I did what my parents told me to do and not to do, because I knew if I didn't there would be consequences.
So DH goes outside, I finish unloading dishwasher. Now he's walking in the door with a bunch of stuff
Daizy: Now what are you up to?
Dumber Ass: Cleaning out the Subaru, if I can't get the 4-Runner fixed, I'm going to have to let her take the Subaru
Daizy: Silently fucking stewing, because if I say what I want to say, it won't be pretty.... because right on DH!!!! Let her fuck up BOTH cars now!!! Sounds like a brilliant plan!!!
I decided to take the dog for a walk because I did not want to be at the house when SD19 showed up. and it was a LONG walk, apparently long enough that she came, DH got the 4-Runner "fixed" enough to drive and sent her on her way because I passed her coming back from my walk, only I thought SHE was in the passenger seat, so I just assumed DH was driving and they needed to go get a part or something. So I get home and DH is there??? and he tells me that he fixed it and decided the hell he was going to give her the Subaru because he doesn't want her doing anything to that one. (finally a brain cell kicking into to action!)
Daizy: Well who was driving??
Dumbest Ass: SD was! Do you really think I would send her out of here with someone else driving????
Daizy: Well it sure looked like her in the passenger seat? SOMEONE was in the passenger seat?
Dumbest Ass: Oh that was her sister. Really Daizy, do you think SD would dare pull into this driveway with someone else driving?
Daizy: SD is not "scared" of you in the least.. that is 1000% clear.
Dumbest Ass: *Blink* *Blink*
So I go into the spare room that SD has been camped out in and see that DH must have made her clean it up while she was there. So I asked BS7 if the sister came in the house? Why of course she fucking did. I know it sounds petty and dumb, she's a 12 or 13 year kid.. but she's BM1 spawn, zero relation to us and if she's anything like SD and BM then she has no problem taking shit and lying and I don't want her in my house!
Why do these skids have to piss all over EVERYTHING??? And why can't my DH parent?? Oh I know why, because if he takes the keys away from SD, then he's stuck with her back at our house (she's been staying at MILs for over a week now) and then HE will have to cart her ass back and forth to work. So just easier for HIM to stick his head in the sand and let her do whatever, so he doesn't have to be bothered. UGH.
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I wouldn't allow skids to
I wouldn't allow skids to stay in my house and just hand them a car at that age. Does your pay SD's car insurance?
No she pays nothing. The
No she pays nothing. The best part is, since DH handed her the keys to the car last week, we haven't seen her since, she's been staying at MILs, so he really has no clue what she is even doing. But again, he's just happy not to have to deal with her being at our house because then he would have to parent her.
I do have to say, I'm kind of with him on the letting her stay at MILs part...between her staying at the hotel with her boyfriend when he was here visiting and her staying at MILs, I haven't seen the major annoyance in 3 weeks now and it's been HEAVEN!
Is she still in college? I
Is she still in college? I wouldn't be paying squat for skids or my own kids if they weren't doing something with their lives. I come from a military family and DH says I'm a Nazi LOL
She will be starting her
She will be starting her Sophomore year at college in August. I will give her credit for having a job while she's been home and supposedly she's been working either close to 40 hour weeks, or overtime. She also had a job during her Freshman year working at a hot dog/beer joint on campus.
Yeah, but as of last night,
Yeah, but as of last night, DH is saying she's not sure if she wants the car now??? So he doesn't want to sign it over to her for 6 weeks... I mean he could do it as a gift I guess, but then when he goes to put the car back in his name, he'll have to pay sales tax, no way would my state let it fly that the car was "gifted" 2 times in a matter of 6 weeks.
can you imagine having such
can you imagine having such infinite choices in your youth. mommy/daddy i don't want this car, get me a different one. my lord my mother would have laughed in my face.
Why, I was THRILLED to get
Why, I was THRILLED to get Dad's old, 4-door, Boring Brown Ford Fairmont when I was 18!!! My choices were 1) a car, and 2) no car.
Exactly! I borrowed my
Exactly! I borrowed my mothers egg looking car, until I saved up enough to buy a used beater car. Seriously. I see it in my own house though. SS18 has had 2 cars now from SO, spoiled.
No, Clever. Mine was solid
No, Clever. Mine was solid brown.
Me too. My first car was the
Me too. My first car was the "steel stallion" a 1980 Datsun 210 that looked suspiciously like it had had a fire under the hood. Paint was really funky and looked spray painted over. There was no radio and the back seats were somehow really dryrotted and falling apart at the top. The car was only about 6 years old, so no idea how all this happened. I remember my mom paid 1500 dollars for it and I had an accident within 2 months of owning it that caused 1500 dollars worth of damage.
But, yeah.. car/no car? I wasn't paying for it. Dang straight I was taking it. Drove that sucker for 7-8 years...until I got my masters degree and a job where I could afford the princely sum of $200/month for a car pmt of my own!
Oh.. again, another example of how bad a stepkid I would have been. Thank goodness I had an in tact family..lol.
Yeah I agree with advice.only
Yeah I agree with advice.only as well about this. I didn't think about what damage it could do if your SH wrecks that car and plus your insurance will go up.
I am confused - when he
I am confused - when he wanted to give her the other car, why did you not say, no hell no.....
Trust me, I gave him a look
Trust me, I gave him a look and that was plenty enough. Thankfully, he wised up while I was on my walk and decided that would be a really stupid thing to do.
My biggest issue, is it IS my
My biggest issue, is it IS my problem, when she's causing damage to MY vehicles and driving on MY insurance and doing shit she's been told not to do. Other than that, you are correct, I don't give a rats ass.
The best thing to come out of
The best thing to come out of the worst scenario (she gets into an accident), you finally say-- DH get your daughter insurance yourself. She's off the family plan.
Why do these skids have to
Why do these skids have to piss all over EVERYTHING???
^^^^^^
I ask myself the same thing everyday when dealing with DH's kids. Literally. Nothing can just be simple or easy or go as planned. There is always something else that goes along with it.
I swear I could totally hear my DH saying the EXACT same things that your DH said. I got all irritated and annoyed reading your blog.
this part drives me bonkers..
this part drives me bonkers.. the part where he says he can't wait for her to go back to University state, the part where he says he wishes she left with boyfriend, the unspoken part where I KNOW he's just fine with her staying at MILS and gallivanting, as long as she is not at our house and in his hair.... but heaven forbid, if I so much as look at her cross ways.. I'm a horrible bitch who hates his kid. NEWSFLASH!!!!!!! YOU don't even like your kid! :? :?
Its unspoken rule, only Dad
Its unspoken rule, only Dad can say anything negative about his kids.
She may not want the car??
She may not want the car?? Is she too good for it or am I missing something?
Really not sure WHAT this
Really not sure WHAT this sudden revelation is about as just last week, oh YES, she wanted to car!!!! ???
She doesn't even need a car. She's going to be living with her BF who has a car, directly across the road from University, where Uncle J says she will have zero places to park and University is in a big city with tons of traffic that she will be clueless to drive in. But whatever?? She'll get what she wants, always does, because it's easier for DH to cave to her, than argue with her.
I will say the latch was
I will say the latch was already a bit goofy before DH let her take it, but he TOLD her this and told her not to even try to open it. I asked why she even had a need to be in the back (it's supposed to be JUST her in the car driving back and forth to work right???) The story she gave DH was that she and her sister were going to clean the car out (from WHAT???? again, no reason for it to be dirty, it was spotless a week ago) and that sister tried to open the back and then it wouldn't close.
My guess is they were screwing around, maybe thinking they were going to take BM1 dog somewhere, or Lord knows what????? dumb thing broke, THEN they cleaned out the car because SD knew she had to bring it back to DH and assumed he'd flip shit if it was a sty, which is why it took her 3 hours from the time she called to get to the house (if she was at BM's she was 30 minutes away max)
Who doesn't want a free
Who doesn't want a free car????
Well see, either way she's
Well see, either way she's getting a "free" car. Remember? She's waiting for that retro pay from SSDI that she thinks she's getting? That is what her plan is. If she gets a decent amount from that, then she'll buy a car that is up to her standards?? or whatever her issue is... not sure what is wrong with a perfectly good 4-Runner?? (well except from the busted latch)
Don't know, don't care.. just want her back in University state with her own fucking insurance and away from me.
Oh my what was that man
Oh my what was that man thinking? Let me give her the other car, because she messed up the other one. Geez.
I somehow managed to keep Car issues out of my name, for both insurance and titles. It took some finagling. I bet with some creativity you could get her off your insurance.
SO and I don't have joint insurance because he gets too many speeding tickets (and drives a company vehicle). He tried to get me to allow SS18 on my insurance and I said nope. Let BM do it or you can. This is a parent issue, not mine. -- One of a few battles I've managed to win. I keep the cars out of my name because SO has bad credit so we don't own cars together either. If I don't drive it, I don't title it. I've lost many other battles though...
Good luck my friend! She's gonna wreck that car eventually. They always do. SD21 has had at least 1 major and 3 minor accidents since she's been 16. Just an idiot.
Oh that's the best part my
Oh that's the best part my friend, she's NOT on our insurance. DH doesn't think it's necessary. His friend who is a sheriff detective told him that he never added his two kids on as drivers, so DH just ran with that and that's what he's going to do.... even though I spoke with our previous insurance company in an on line exchange and they said she needed to be added as a driver EVEN when she was living in another state, I also printed this whole on line exchange out and showed it to DH, but nope, DH can't be bothered, he'll do it his way.
Whatever.. 6 weeks til she's gone and then she'll HAVE to get her own insurance.
I'm literally laughing right
I'm literally laughing right now at him. No offense. This is something my SO would do. I have pretty good reason to believe that when the insurance kept rising for SS18, he canceled it. SS came asking for the insurance card a few months ago and SO made a big deal of it. Said he's not getting it because he was being sneaky. long story. Anyways, I was like, yeah he doesn't have insurance.
But not your problem!!!
I just came across your blog
I just came across your blog and this is so my DH. SD has no consequences and does not care about anything anyone has to say, not even the police. I finally excluded her from our car insurance and told DH she is not allowed to drive any of our vehicles. Don't worry though he found a way to give her a car. (she is now using an extra vehicle from a family member). I'm so over her and her antics. I can only wish and pray that she moves in with mom, goes away for college or moves in with her boyfriend.