SD19 hotlined BM1
DH had dinner with SD Saturday night. Thankfully she has been staying at MIL's since the end of May-beginning of June, so I haven't seen her AT.ALL! and she should be rolling up out of here in 2 or 3 weeks so hooray!!!!
Anyway, when DH got home he told me that SD was nearly bawling at dinner telling him that she is really worried for her 4 sisters (2 different baby daddies) ranging in ages 3-13. DH rattled off some reasons... the apartment is a shit hole, there are 5 adults and 4 children living in a 2 bedroom apartment, BM1's baby daddy #2 is living there, not working, and frequently beats up on BM1's brother who also lives there, there is some older woman who lives next door who has taken a liking to (or feels sorry for) the sisters and frequently feeds them and BM1 has been borrowing money from her, and "drugs" (not sure what kind and/or what that means) SD said that she tried to hotline BM, that she called and talked to "them" (CPS?) for over an hour, telling them everything that she saw when she was a kid living there and everything that is going on now and they did nothing.
I asked DH who she called?? Did she make an actual hotline? or did she just call some random County CPS caseworker? Of course DH doesn't know. I am a mandated reporter and know that when I call in a hotline, the call goes to the state capital, I give them all the info and they tell me right then whether they will open a case and they give me a case number. After that the case gets referred to the County CPS and they have 24 hours to respond. But I don't know? Is it different if you are just John Doe calling?? My immediate thought was SD was lying.. but then why the hell would she lie about something like that and be so visibly upset about it?? DH said he told SD that there really wasn't much else she could do at this point other than be there for her sisters while she is in town and be a good role model (?? haha!!??) so that hopefully the sisters can become productive members of society when/if they graduate from school etc.
I feel torn, like maybe I should try and help her? But just going on what DH told me, I can see why they didn't open a case as none of those things going on are really neglectful/abusive. Sure, BM is being a shitty mother, but there's a difference between being abusive and neglectful.. and just plain shitty. For me to help, I would have to talk to SD herself and get all the gory details and I really don't want to go there. Ugh. Thoughts?
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Ignore... unless you think
Ignore... unless you think the kids are in danger... You do not want to get yourself involved. If SD brings it up to you maybe you can guide her in the right direction but outside of that I wouldn't get too involved.
I really don't think they are
I really don't think they are in "danger". I mean every.single.thing. that DH ticked off, has been going on since SD was living with GBM/BM.. over-crowded house, fighting, smoking, no incomes, no money, slob hole... but none of those things are really hotline-able. I mean, you saw BM1 mug shot... there is no doubt in my mind that she is doing drugs, but what kind I have no clue, and where and when she is doing them I have no clue. The first time that SD moved in with us, when she was 14, there was an open CPS case, I remember the caseworker calling DH and I remember we got the report that said it was "founded" for emotional neglect.. but we really didn't care because SD was living with us by then. I believe that BM1 has been hotlined at least one other time since then (that I know of) by MIL (I can' remember for what)
I guess the oldest sister just turned 13 last week. MIL said that SD19 got a pizza and went to BMs to celebrate and sister wasn't there and BM didn't know where she was. I guess she ended up being in a canoe on the river with her dad. MIL said SD flipped out, was calling her all in a dither, drove to the river to look for them, was all concerned about how "dangerous" that is blah blah blah. I guess in my sheltered little world she was way overreacting.. I mean BS7 goes kayaking with me all the time.. but that's me, not baby daddy #2 who could be doing drugs, etc. and SD grew up with this guy in and out of the house so I guess she knows better than me whether there is concern or not??
UGH I wouldn't re-engage with
UGH I wouldn't re-engage with SD over this. It doesn't rise to the criminal level and, if SD is like most skids, she's probably exaggerating for the drama--possibly trying to MOVE IN PERMANENTLY with you guys. Maybe she can talk to Aunt J about it.
Yeah, I don't doubt that a
Yeah, I don't doubt that a lot of the story is true, but I wonder if parts have been embellished or added because that's how SD generally roles. It's hard to believe someone who has been known to lie about anything and everything.
You're right, she can talk to Aunt J or MIL about it and maybe they can help if they so choose. I will stay out of it and stay drama free!
I'm curious as to why she brought it up to DH anyway.. no way in hell did HE ask how the sisters were, so it was definitely something she inserted into conversation.. but what the heck does she think DH is going to do about it??
"I'm curious as to why she
"I'm curious as to why she brought it up to DH anyway.. no way in hell did HE ask how the sisters were, so it was definitely something she inserted into conversation.. but what the heck does she think DH is going to do about it??"
Serves two functions:
1. makes her look like a "caring" person (oh my SD has CHANGED, she has!!!)
2. gets her attention and sympathy.
Call me cynical but a leopard doesn't change its spots. SD in my case pretends to "care" about animals but truth is she's an animal torturer.
Step back DaizyD step
Step back DaizyD step back...... it's got nothing to do with you. SD is looking for some attention, she's playing all concerned now for her sisters, plot to get a car out of DH IMHO......
If she was sincere about it all she would've collected her sisters and drove them somewhere and file abuse claims, but she did nothing... she only talked to DH about it.
I'm sorry but I don't believe her entirely, she did nothing cause she wants DH to do something and that would cause major marakas