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Things still going very well....

daisy0202's picture

Well yesterday I had off, cleaned the house, did some errands and just enjoyed it so much.....

I have to say this is working very well....I do not feel stressed, upset, pissed, its like a weight has been lifted....Is it bad i feel so good?

DH this morning sounds so blahhhhh...He hates living at his mothers, he will not get an apartment, and feels depressed about SD....I tried to tell him he has a long road ahead of him with her but this weekend that passed was a step in the right direction. He cant wait for Sat and Sunday....We are going to dinner with my parents and then weather permitting, lighting a fire and relaxing once again.....He is so excited for it, it was kinda funny....

I do not hear about SD, I do not ask about SD, and I think this is going to work just fine.....In my opinion this will continue until she is out of high school and in college....I hope by then she is a little more mature and can deal with everyday life....If not...I plan on continuing what we are doing if we want to stay together....Is this wrong i am thinking this way?

Comments

stormabruin's picture

It's NEVER wrong to do what makes you happy. If no one else will take that upon themselves, we need to do it for ourselves. It is not selfish to take charge of your life & your happiness. It's responsibility. If we are unhappy with where our lives are, it's no one's fault but our own. That's a message I hope your DH will grasp hold of sooner than later.

I'm so glad things are getting better for you. Smile

cant win for losin's picture

Nope. Not at all. I am in a kind similar situation. we live together, (if you can call it that) but he has to go visit his kid else where. (at his parents house)
I to at the beginning had to hear the whining and crying from FDH, I didn't budge. I stood my ground. I would listen and say to FDH "well, sorry. I do know it sucks. Sucks for me too." I would tell him that in order for there to be an us after his kid is grown this is what needs to happen. I told him, "I can gurantee you and i WILL NOT be together long if you continue to push visiting your kid here at my house."
A year later, he still visits there. Doesn't whine a whole lot, and doesn't bring up his kid at all. I don't ask, he don't tell. It is a VERY touchy subject. So we just don't go there. It may seem to other's that we are not working on the problem, or because we don't "talk" about it or the kid that we are trying to "sweep it under the rug" but that's not it at all.
There are too many variables in the who what why and how on this kid and his behavior problems.

basically when there are too many hands in the cookie jar, all you get is crumbs.

Still Have Hope's picture

No, you are not wrong to identify and avoid the cause of stress (SD) in your life. Rejoice! You are smart enough to realize the problem and do what you needed to to be happy. Many could learn from you. A long time ago someone told me that each person is responsible for their own happiness. You are an excellent example the idea.

ctnmom's picture

No, not at all Daisy! The way I look at it, you fought the good fight- and lost. You've waved the white flag and made some incredibly positive changes. Plus, now all of SD's craziness is where it belongs- in DH's lap. YOU didn't eff her up, her parents did. Plus your boys (you have 2 sons, right?) deserve the peace, and a happy mom. Kudos to you. Dirol

daisy0202's picture

vickmeister...I have not talked about SD or BM at all....I dont ask any questions because right now I really dont want to hear about either of them....Is he doing anything...I really have no idea...The only thing i know is last weekend was great and i felt that was a step....He shut off his phone...I had him from like 4 sat afternoon till 4:30 sunday...SD did not even talk to him....He was with me the whole time....

I know he needs to fix things but right now I dont even care what is going on in that drama...I just need and want some serenity....one step at a time I guess.....This does suck...I do miss him during the week....We talk every morning and i so look forward to that....

daisy0202's picture

I do to....Time will tell....But for now...I am enjoying the peace and drama free world....Its been a while for this.....I NEED IT!!!