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I dont know what to do?

daisy0202's picture

Submitted by daisy0202 on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 1:47pm

I am at a loss...I love my DH I really do but I just can not stand all this drama, all this bullshit, I mean when is this going to end? It gets better than it gets horrible....I do not think I should hate going home....I am at work today with a yuck feeling. Then DH calls just to hear my voice and i love that but when I get home it will be all about SD and whatever issue is of the day, and there always is one. By the time i get to talk alone he is already sleeping or half asleep and a conversation is out of the question. WHEN WILL THIS END and WHAT DO I DO IN THE MEAN TIME TO DEAL WITH THIS??????? HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!

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imthewife's picture

Submitted by imthewife on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 1:58pm

I have read many of your blogs and it sounds like you have a real nutcase on your hands.

I don't know if you have tried counseling...it doesn't always do much, but with or without it...you need to lay down some laws.

You need to tell your DH that you no longer feel like coming home and why. You need to tell him that the minute you walk in the door it is nothing but verbal vomit about the nutty one.

A rule must be established that she is not to be brought up or even mentioned when you come home.

"I hate going home because....." is such a man thing. It's usually their way of not wanting to be nagged or what have you. It sounds like you need to use it in this situation to get your DH to realize that just because you said YES to him...you DID NOT say yes to the nutbag and all her problems...

Make it a gag rule...no SD talk...period. He seemed to be getting alot of calcium because last week he seemed to have a stronger backbone...keep those supplements coming! And tell him to SHUT IT!
(I say that in a very nive way..) but seriously...she needs to back off.

What is her BM situation?

unsure99's picture

Submitted by unsure99 on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 2:08pm

I totally understand how you feel. My FSD13 is not quite as bad as your SD16, I swear I look for your post everyday to see what unbelievable thing she has done now. You may have said before if she in counseling? She needs to be if she is not, if she is, maybe she needs to go more often. She has some serious issues but of course I blame a lot of it on DH. He is not helping any, I know he will do good for a little while but he has got to understand how serious you are. I think you need to really have a heart to heart with exactly how you feel and how serious it is. It's not just bitching, you are at/or getting to the point of no return. I think sometimes they hear us say the same things so much that they kinda tune us out, he needs to really hear you. Maybe the whole family go for counseling. I hurt for you because I understand how you feel. I know I'm not married to mine yet, but we do live together and the relationship is just as committed. I love him so much and she is the only thing that has kept me from dragging him to the alter already. ((Hugs)))

P.S. I do drink more than I have ever drank in my life.....

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 2:23pm

Rat poison? Or some other undetectable substance that mimics a heart attack??? Sorry, fresh out of ideas. Sad

daisy0202's picture

Submitted by daisy0202 on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 2:34pm

I agree with all I drink alot more now....Espicially when she starts her bullshit.

The BM situation is they do not get along, BM is a total nut job. She had gastric bipass about 2 years ago lost like a whole person and went from 40 to 17. Now she brings men after men in the home, SD16 was scared and did not like the men she was bringing in. BM started popping pills and drinking alot and partying all the time and leaving SD at home.

She used to go to BM's every 2 days during the week and everyother weekend. Now she does not go at all and BM is fine with it. I wish we could go back to that schedule...I loved it!!! This 24 hour a day shit blows!!!

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 2:45pm

Daisy, I feel very bad for you and am scared that it's what awaits me in a few years. My SD is 11 going on 12 soon. She is a semi decent kid in the way that she does NOT disrespect me and usually follows the rules. Lately, I've been noticing a little shift in her attitude. A little bit of "snarky" here and there. She'll also go behind my back and ask her dad things after she's asked me and I've already said no. Her mom treats her like an equal and NOT a child. She has ALL her mothers passwords to FB and email etc...She reads all her moms stuff. Stuff she shouldn't be reading. I have a VERY strong attitude and I am not easily messed with so I tend to rip her a new one whenever she pulls something that is not to my liking. Sometimes, I forget that I am the adult and that she is the child but when she tries to manipulate things like only an adult can, I forget she's 11. So sorry you have to deal with this crazy lunatic. She sounds scary.