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something is wrong and I do not know what it is.....

daisy0202's picture

Submitted by daisy0202 on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 6:27am

So this morning talked to DH like usual, but there was a change in his tone...

I do not know what is going on but he sounded different, he said everything was fine but his tone was weird. Not sure if it was me or if something is wrong. I text him after our conversation and got nothing in return. Now I feel a yuck feeling again and have no clue WTF is wrong.....This sucks

Comments

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:34am

I agree with Mazzy. If he says he's fine, leave it alone. He needs to learn to work through his shit on his own. He's a big boy. His choices have led him to where he is right now & he needs to deal with what he's caused.

As a problem-solver myself, I know it's difficult to watch someone you love struggle knowing that you can ease their discomfort, but HE has to figure this out. HE has to face it & learn how to fix it without you.

Enjoy your time. Enjoy your space. Enjoy your morning conversations & enjoy your date nights. Outside of that, let HIM worry about & deal with whatever it is that's weighing on his mind.

Don't prod. It's negative attention & feeding it will only encourage a pattern. If he wants to talk about something he can do so when he's asked the first time. If he decides he wants to talk about something after he's been asked once, he can bring it to your attention. I would guess it's likely something regarding SD or living with his mother...both of which are HIS to handle.

Keep doing what you're doing for you. If he wants this to work, he'll make it work.

msc1120's picture

Submitted by msc1120 on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:03am

I have to agree with Mazzy, he's just trying to get attention and make you have guilt over a situation he could have changed a long time ago.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 7:12am

Sometimes I ask DH if something is wrong. He says no. But then i come to find out nothing is wrong with US but he has this problem that he is churning over in his head usually car-related or how to make something work better. To "Paranoid Me" it comes across as "It is about me" when it really isn't.

Or ... take option A from the other ladies Wink

cant win for losin's picture

Submitted by cant win for losin on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 8:41am

we all have those days. remember that. I do not like "our" situation. FDH is gone every weekend, (except 1 a month) plus 1-2 days during the week. We have no depth to our relationship because there is no time spent on it. And some days, it really bums me out.
Sometimes it bums FDH out. He will act different, sound different. "what's wrong?" Nothin.
i have learned in futher discussions about this that the question is worded wrong for him. (insert eye roll) but his response is "nothing is WRONG." okay then, "what is BOTHERING you?" " what is on your mind?" are those questions better??!! LOL a little. but I get no where with "what's wrong?"

so i dunno, maybe in the future as more specific questions. and when the response is "nothing. everything is fine." leave it on him. as women we have done it too. knowing darn well something is wrong, or on our mind and instead of bringing it up or talking about it we say "nothing, everything is fine."

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Fri, 06/08/2012 - 8:47am

I am sure he is frustrated living with him mom and SD. There was probably some situation and he doesn't want to involve you since it proves your point. Stay out of it and go on about your day. THis is progress, because it is making him deal with his situation and not bringing it to you to resolve....