so when you disagree on something, who wins? What I mean is, you can go into it with the mind-set that you're going to get along because it's in the best interest of the child, but it just doesn't always work that way. Some people are unrelenting, and think that their way is the only way, even if it's wrong, sad but true.

Also sometimes getting along for the sake of the children equals drama. At least in our case it does. There is no reasoning with crazy BM in our case.

I've been a member here for a while and I think I may be able to answer your question.

In some cases, it's simply a case of distance/time zones. If the NCP lives in another state, a set schedule (similar to visitation nights) is set up for telephonic parenting time. It's not that the bio-parents aren't cooperating, it's just easier to schedule certain nights to make sure the kids are available to visit with their parent via phone.

In other cases, mostly seen on here, it seems the CP may have denied visitation or parenting time to the NCP. Or the NCP tries to call and the CP doesn't answer or doesn't let the kids know their parent is trying to reach them. The NCP usually ends up having to take the CP to court in order to get their scheduled "visitation via phone" with their kids.

At any rate, it doesn't mean that the parents don't want to talk to their kids any other time. I'm sure that in a lot of cases there's more frequent communication other than the scheduled times. We all have very busy lifestyles, and having a set time to communicate with your family, be it at the dinner table or a call at 7pm three nights a week, simply means they are making time for their kids. It's not a bad thing, just a different way of viewing how they communicate.

I remember when my parents split up for a while I totally looked forward to my Dad's calls on Sunday afternoon (I had sisters so we alternated weeks we got to see him). On Sunday afternoons, he'd call the kid that didn't get to see him that weekend.

Please don't rip on people on this board unless you've read their blogs and know the back story. In most cases this has nothing to do with "Growing Up", it has everything to do with scheduling time around two different households to make it work for everyone.

(disclaimer - I said in most cases. There are some SM's on here that deal with some real whack job BM's that refuse to allow their kids to speak to their father. Avoid calls, avoid Skype, deny visitation for imagined slights. Uberskank (the BM in my life) is a total bitch who takes money from DH's kid and used to frequently tell DH that his kid wasn't around or didn't want to talk to him or didn't want to see him.

On the other hand, you sometimes have a bio-parent who feels the need to constantly invade your home with phone calls. In cases like that, sometimes a non-contact order is placed, but with an allowance for telephonic parenting time.

Our BM is only allowed two calls per week. On specific days and at a specific time. Because she's psycho. All she does is make SD cry or try to make her do bad things or just cause drama. This was judges orders. She's actually lucky She gets any call time at all. It's not us tryin to be mean or anything like that. Sometimes it's just better the smaller amount of contact they have... The less damage they can do. Sometime there is no "getting along"!! Before the court order This psycho would call and cause drama all times of day/night. She also got slapped with harrasment charges- harassment by phone. So before you gripe at people to "get along" try stepping back and thinking about it. Some people are just plain hard to get along with. You should feel lucky you and yours get along! And most step parents here have huge issues to deal with and I'm sure they would appreciate not getting any BS from you.... And gues what? You dont have to "get it"!!! Just let people vent and if you don't like it, don't comment!

We have the same issue with BM blowing up the skids phones when they are with us. I am so happy right now because stepdad lost his job (not happy about that) and BM cant afford to keep skids cellphones anymore because they both have android phones with the internet and stuff, and I refuse to pay $90.00 a month for them to keep the phones. so on this next visit she wont be able to drive them both crazy with the nonstop calling and texting. woohoo

For the people that don't know my situation. Our BM has SV with SS7. In the past when BM is doing good DH has let BM talk on the phone to SS and also visit un supervised. BM is a off and on drug user. So our entire relationship is like a yo-yo. Depending on where Bm is at. DH stop all phone calls because BM lies and manipulates SS so much that SS hope are always getting dashed. After SS having his arm and leg broke while in the care of BM (at 8months due to fighting between BM BF), rehab and prison, now BM on drugs agian. DH just quit everything. DH doesn't have money to go to court so we will wait for BM to take DH. Right now we just don't answer the phone. I should say that SS BM conversation are also SV CO to be SV.