I agree with PP. You were not judging or trying to start a debate, just trying to understand. I also got that you when you stated "Can't everyone just get along?!" you were directing this to the BM's. I don't think you were being harsh and went back and reread the comments. I think only a couple posters were offended and the rest were trying to explain why they had these stipulations in their CO's.

I saw that post yesterday, and decided to slowly, and quietly, back out...

I saw what you were saying, and also saw it blow up...

One thing that I've learned about this board is that (and this is JMO) 1) a lot of times people will give you their perspective based on THEIR life, experience and outlook...and the fact that you might hold different can sometimes be cause for insults from them...Also 2)Folks on here are already stressed and strained for the most part, so it can be a little testy around here...

Just take it with a grain of salt...

When I first read your post yesterday…I kind of thought you were bashing us SM’s. So I just passed it and did not respond. I did go back and read the rest of the post and your comments and you did make it clear that you were basically talking about why the BM’s cannot control themselves long enough to be a good parent.
This is a good site…BUT…you do have to have a thick skin. Just try it for a while…it grows on you. lol

Yes - I just noticed one person who gave you a thrashing - but you will often tend to get that. She may have read your post wrong, it was a little easy to misinterpret if you didn't read carefully - and thought you were telling us all off - which you weren't. You have to bear in mind this forum is open to anyone at all to join - and you will get all sorts. Try to take it with a pinch of salt. Glad you are staying.

I have to agree I don't thin you were trying to judge just was frustrated tat bm's do this to their kids. You were venting which is why we are here!

Hey Daisy - I don't think you offended anyone. I think you just hit a hot button issue that a lot of us deal with. Not all BM's are like you, that believe there should be open communication and sharing of information regarding your kids. Like you said, it's about trying to raise the kids as normally as possible in a two home situation.

I can't imagine how much easier it would be on DH and his kid if his ex was more like you. They only communicate in texts or (and this ticks me off to no end) they go through their child (16 y/o girl). I have suggested numerous times to extend the olive branch, but her kind of crazy only takes the branch, grinds it to dust and mails it back in a box full of broken glass and rusty nails.

I hope you stay on this board! I think you have a lot to offer.