Can anyone tell me if I'm on the right track? Due to be married soon - my husb to be has been divorced over 10 years. Ex wife has new man but has never remarried. Their last contact was SD's college graduation six year ago. I met SD31 a year ago; she was curt, and later complained to her dad she felt like she missed out on time w/her dad (even tho she'd been here a full week of vacay from her prestigious job) during our 1.5 hour dinner together to meet one another. A few months later, when her dad went to visit her at Christmas, I graciously sent her a simple but tasteful gift...did not receive a thank you, and dad said she wondered why I sent it. Met her at her grandmother's funeral where I sat in the back row away from rest of family - my choice, as I realize 'adult' step children regress also during times of stress. For my birthday, I took husb to be and myself on a week's vacay to someplace I'd always wanted to go... he told SD we were going. She called twice daily. I could overhear her at times stating she 'needed to remember to get mom's recipe' for something, etc. I read these blogs and wonder if I am up to the task. I am not aiming to be 'best friends' though I am not looking forward to being ill considered just for being the new wife. I believe this SD is a bright, intelligent, well accomplished woman with a bright future, an enviable education, and an enviable career. It's interesting to me she tells her dad she wouldn't want her parents back together as they fought all the time, but she doesn't seem to want either of them to find other partners. Is this normal? Right now, I don't mention her unless my husb to be tells me something about her. I don't ask about her anymore. I am following much of the 'disengagement' strategies I find on these blogs. I'd like to hear also from adult step kids who developed positive relationship with their parent's new spouses and how that came about. Thank you!