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guilty for dreading time

craziness's picture

Submitted by craziness on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 1:09am

I have 3 bio kids and my husband has 2 bio kids. We together have a child who is 3. My problem is I dread every time skids come. There is such disruption and I feel like everything revolves around them. We have them 1/2 time even though they live an hour away....so this means my husband spends two hours on the road every time we have them. One of the skids is extremely needy (11yo) and makes a point to follow my husband around like a lost puppy asking "what can I do for you, I love u dad, is there anything I can help with etc". However it seems to me he has 2 personalities because he is mean and rude to his bio mom and the other kids when he thinks we are not paying attention. He lieS and "didn't know" everything, whenever he gets into trouble. Last year he even went up far to say he was gonna kill himself.....counseling didn't really help except for the fact that he did realize at those sessions that his mom and Dad weren't getting back together. He is very manipulative and sneaks around and attemlts to get my husband to let him do things that he knows I would not. He even went so far as to being pissed off when i overheard a conversation between him and my son and i called them out on ot.....he told my husband he was upset because i waz eavesdropping!!!! I am tired of feeling like everything is put on hold every time they come. My husband holds our 3yo to more account than he does the skids. I am tired of deffering to them and now with our daughter I will not tolerate it any longer..am I awful for feeling this way?!?!?!
.she deserves some time too.

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craziness's picture

Submitted by craziness on Mon, 12/30/2013 - 8:51am

Yeah we have had numerous conversations about this issue. However things get better for a little while and then all go to hell again. Dh is so inconsistent And it drives me crazy! Just like at Christmas....for the past 4 years we have had them every Christmas eve and Christmas morning then they return to their moms either Christmas night or early the day after. Christmas. However this year my husband changed it without even asking me and was gonna keep them until Friday (but since I threw a fit he took them back like normal). Same thing on new years eve...we never have them but he planned to and then isn't even taking them home until the next night between 6-8 pm which means he will probably take them at 8 and won't be back home until 9!. Again, similar situation this year when they played football...for the past four years they have played football in their home town which is again an hour away, we usually take them to every game that is on our weekend even though it means usually leaving our house on Sunday (yes games are on Sundays) at 11-12 and then not getting home until 5-6 pm...and mind u we have them every other aunday nihjt so that means that my dh then drives the hour each way to take them to school on monday mornings (wouldnt ot be bwtter for EVERYONE of he just dropped th at their moms after the gamea on sundays??) We haven't historically went to every game on weekends that aren't ours....we would usually discuss and if we didn't have plans of our own then we would make the drive and watch the game. This year I tell my husband that I won't be making many gamez. because I feel it isn't fair to ask a 2 1/2 year old to sit an hour in the car, 2-3 hours for both of skids games and then an hour in the car home...so u know what he does?!!!? He decides on how own without talking to me that he is gonna go to every game even the ones that occur on our kid free weekend! I was so mad....that is mine and our daughters time....we don't get much anyway and now he was taking that away too. We have had repeated conversations about our daughter deserving time... let alone me his wife!! All I want is for him to commit to not doing any skid activities on our kid free weekends or kid free time unless we both agree to it! Is that too much to ask?