My mother met my step-dad when I was in 3rd grade. He was 17 years older than her. His divorce was dragging on due to financial issues. While married he’d grown a very successful business, his soon to be ex-wife never worked a day in her life. Her home was paid for, her car was paid for, he paid out the eyeballs and walked away to live in a one bedroom apartment and from what I learned when I became an adult, she wanted more, more, more

His children were grown, the eldest was just a few years younger than my mom, the youngest was in her mid-twenties.

My mother made it very clear that she was not looking for a relationship with a married man, no matter that he and his wife were “separated”

My step-father caved and gave his ex-wife a handsome sum of money, on a monthly basis, for a VERY long period of time… or until she remarried, whichever came first.

(she NEVER remarried)

Mom bought a house, they eventually married and he left his one bedroom apartment and moved in.

(my sister hated my step-dad, but she was a ‘daddy’s girl’ and wound up living with my Dad, which made the household much more pleasant)

My step-fathers children came to the wedding… it was the first time I had met the two sons, I had met the daughter ONCE. They had been together for two years, before they married…

My mother bent over backwards to be nice to these people! Birthdays, holidays, Sunday Dinner, picnics, family functions, you name it, she reached out and invited them.

The ONLY time any of them ever showed up, was if they were getting something and then when they did, they pretty much ignored us the whole time they were at our house.

My mom even had an engagement party for my step-brother and his new fiance’, during the party he’d had one too many martinis and he said to my mother “you people have yourself a really nice set up here, hope you’re enjoying it” then he went on to talk about his poor “abandoned” mother!

This kind of crap was constant.

Flip side:

My dad met my step-mom when my sister was a senior in high school. I was in 6th grade. The first time I met her, it was on my birthday. My Dad always took me out for my birthday as a kid. This year, neither of my sisters were around, so it was just me and him. when we got to the restaurant, Mary was sitting at a table already. My first impression of her was dead on… what a nice lady! Her children were older than us too. We met both of them within a few months after meeting her. She invited my sisters and I to her family functions, holiday dinners, birthdays, pool parties and we went and got to meet the rest of her family.

Because we had open minds, my sisters and I were able to accept this person that my Dad obviously loved very much. As young as I was when they split and as much as it hurt, it was nice to see both my Mom and my Dad with someone that they cared about and made them happy… and that made me happy. My Step-Dad wasn’t a “lovey-dovey” emotionally outgoing kind of person, but he was a good guy and he was nice and fair and he could be really funny.

My Step-Mom has been by my side through good and bad since I was 12 years old.

I read the stories here and I can relate on every level

I am a step-kid
I am a step-mom
I am a biological mother
I am a grandmom
I am a step-grandmom
I have an adult step-kid that’s great, whom I like a lot and we have a really good relationship
I have an adult step-kid that I can’t stand… who hates me right back

My daughter is a step-kid… and sometimes she can be difficult with my husband, whereas she’s “miss perfect” when she’s with her father